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microsoft

person 1: i work at microsoft
person 2: DIE!!!!
by p01uyt September 5, 2024
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Microsoft Compatibility Telemetry

A buggy process that opens 4 times a day on windows 10/11 and takes up all your RAM and CPU usage.
"why the hell is my computer acting so buggy?"
opens task manager
''Microsoft Compatibility Telemetry taking up 40 decillion gigs of ram please throw out computer and give us more money right now or we'll kill you.
by iminhellplshelpahhh December 27, 2024
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microsofting

When an important person in Microsoft decides to release unimportant feature updates to their operating system and stuffs the system with bloatware. (microsofting)
Example: "The microsofting era has begun yet again."
by person who is ordinary June 30, 2025
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Microsofted

When a previously good product or service becomes worse due to corporate acquisition, poor integration, conflicting priorities, or the influence of a larger company's bureaucratic approach to product development.
"Ever since the partnership started, ChatGPT totally got microsofted - it's just not the same anymore."
by Itsanamune July 14, 2025
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Microsoft Edger

A chronically online tech nerd/gooner with a really small penis that likes to go online a lot and goon. Usually a Reddit user with a neck beard that has no life yet enjoys going online to post dumb shit or belittle others. Not all of them wear fedoras, but some do. Commonly also found on Discord
Hey, did you see the way that person on fb replied to me? It’s giving real Microsoft Edger energy……
by Can you burn a Luigi board November 17, 2025
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Microsoft Paradox

When Windows demands that you change your password, but the only way to do it is through the Microsoft cloud portal, which is locked behind Microsoft Authenticator… and that piece of shit app just spins forever like it’s personally fucking you. The perfect loop of corporate incompetence.
Why is Amber drinking at work?
The Microsoft Paradox raw-dogged her entire morning.
by BranDamag3 November 19, 2025
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Microsoft Product

Any product that is poorly designed, easy to hack, bloated, annoying to use, laggy, full of unwanted features, or prone to frequent malfunction.

Not always necessarily a Microsoft product or even any kind of software.
“Sorry I’ll be a little late to the meeting, Teams is being a Microsoft product again.”

“That new game I got off Steam last month crashed five times while I was trying to play it. What a Microsoft product.”

“My new bike’s frame has already started to bend and break like the Microsoft product it is.”
by Shepherd Guy March 14, 2025
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