Michigan Guido

A breed of Guido only spotted during the colder, snowy months of the year. Unlike the regular Guido which can be spotted by it's signature "popped collar", the Michigan Guido uses a scarf worn indoors to signify his faggotry with a shirt one-half size too small, as to sell tickets to his gun show. Also worth noting, this particular breed (because let's be honest, any Guido is sub-human) will have the typical pursed lips, over-sized fake diamond earring, Oompa-Loompa tan, and non-gelled Wop-Dago hair. Not to outdone by their Jersey counterparts, what they lack in spikey Aqua-Nettitude, they make up for in utter fucktardation, with a dash of douchebaggery, and a heaping load of assfaggery.

I swear to Christ if that fucking Michigan Guido moved my barstool one more time I would have set his scarf on fire had I a little moar whiskey in my system, and if somebody wouldn't have stopped me.

by dean teh peen January 8, 2009

One-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying Purple Penetrating Fist Pumping Midget Guido Roofie Slipping Panty Bandit

A mystical midget Guido that enjoys fist pumping girls that have been roofied in the ass. This often causes tell-tell bruises on the butt cheeks at midget height. His magical one horn allows him to remove women’s panties with out there knowledge. His keen perpetrating skills allow him to steal random item of interest. This can include: Credit cards, iPods and women’s virginity. He is also an Ace with the Mexican Air force.

Rob: Once again my fiancé was perpetrated by a One-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying Purple Penetrating Fist Pumping Midget Guido Roofie Slipping Panty Bandit in Atlantic City.

Jack: Just look on the bright side, its better then cleaning her up after good time’s with good friend’s and some hot lunche's!

Rob: Ya, your right... I'll just Shot! Shot! Shot, Shot Shot! her other but cheek, what a hotmess!

by bboy domo.... January 18, 2010

gudelot

where young man carries a condom around just incase a certain event comes up where he might have sexual intercourse with a girl

man i should have pulled a gudelot. but now i have a kid

by leosbb April 7, 2004

Guidoville

A neighborhood where many Guidos live or are thought to live, such as the Bensonhurst section of Brooklyn in New York City.

Shortly after the death of Yusuf Hawkins in Bensonhurst in 1989, columnist Pete Hamill wrote a highly controversial column in the New York Post entitled, "The Lesson of Howard Beach Was Lost on the Punks of Guidoville."

by Anthony Brancato April 20, 2003

guido

A man of Italian-American descent--or at least claims to be--who spikes his hair straight up, goes tanning every single day, plucks his eyebrows, and talks in a shitty New York accent. Some of the most vile humans to ever walk the earth.

Me: Hey, do you know where the bathroom is at?
Guido: Who da fuck are you lookin' at? I oughta kick your ass ya fackin kweeyah! I take 'roids bro, ROIDS!
Me: What a fuckin' guido.

by Chris2626 May 17, 2008

guided crackhead

A crackhead (or other person of violent, irrational behavior, such as a crystal meth addict) who is intentionally given information as to where a particularly choice/valuable target may available by theft or armed robbery. The implicitly or explicitly intended victim, however, may be someone who it is known will be home at the time of the assault, to be disposed of before the valuables are taken. In this manner the crackhead is used as a 'fire-and-forget' weapon, like a guided missile.

Having grown tired of her middle-manager-husband's extramarital shenanigans, Mrs. Lane set a guided crackhead on him, and then raked in a significant insurance haul while she played up the "grieving widow" publicly.

by DoomRooster February 4, 2008

Guido

A man of Italian decent, who, after he has finished snorting obnoxious amounts of cocaine and fist bumped holes into your wall, would like nothing more than to take a power dump on your couch to assert his dominance and convert your daughters ez-bake oven into a tanning bed for his dick. Traditionaly a guido's goal in life is to make trashy classy.(i.e. designer wifebeaters). Guido's have often been described as a gym rat/date rapist with class.

Guy 1: " Bromeo have you heard from Tony B"
Guy 2: " Ya I was at his house yesterday. He just sat in his chair and did nothing but use his shake weight for 2 hours while maintaining that " it's not guy unless a guy actually splooges all over your face." And only then because it could ruin ones spray on tan."
Guy 1: " What a guido."

by dslice1234 January 2, 2012