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double-handed rub

double-handed rub:

- going at your gear and masturbating with two hands instead of one
- obviously, a GREAT masturbation technique which kind of explains itself

Background:

- Two hands are better than one.
- The male version usually involves massaging the grapes while cranking the sausage.
- The female version usually entails holding back the curtains while tickling the little-gal-in-the-boat.
Ex.1

Joe just discovered the 'double-handed rub' and now has to use speaker phone during phone sex with Val.

Ex.2

Val used to easily pleasure herself while she was driving, but since she discovered (and totally switched to) the 'double-handed rub', she either pulls her vehicle over to the side of the road or she drives with the cruise control on and steers with her nose or feet.
by GlennyJ December 10, 2013
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dick in ur hand

Dick in ur hand is when a bunch of guys go out and cant get any pussy..so they are standing around with there dick in there hand
Wtf plenty of girls here and you guys are standing around with your dick in ur hand.
by Chuco cr November 24, 2016
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Second Hand Magic

The act of getting AIDS as a result of having sexual intercourse with an individual who recently was a sexual partner of Magic Johnson
Person 1: “Yo man, I got second hand magic yesterday!”
Person 2: “ Oh, did you buy a used magic kit?”
Person 1: “ No, I had sex with a girl who recently fucked Magic Johnson!”
by Randy Mead November 18, 2019
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Three-Handed-Jackson

The delicate process of putting oneself in the "friendzone" and ending up marrying the person.
"Did you hear about that guy who put himself in the friend zone with the woman who is now his wife?"

"Ah yes, the majestic Three-Handed-Jackson."
by TheLolcat22 May 8, 2019
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Angry hand job

When your partner hates having sex of any kind so they choose to jerk the other off in a hurried, rage filled way.
My partner hates sex, but often they will give me an “angry hand job”.
by Avast Ye Scurvy Dogs January 8, 2020
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Montana Ranch Hand

A handjob, given to completion, with ranch dressing used as lubricant.
Deep in the Hidden Valleys you will find the best Montana Ranch Hands around.
by The Montana Ranch Hand June 19, 2020
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Lithuanian fat hand

When you’ve spent too long fisting your Lithuanian girlfriends ass that your hand swells up and you have to blame it on a giant mosquito
Gus was fisting his misses all Saturday he came down with a serious case of Lithuanian fat hand.
by Gus the fister June 29, 2020
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