An expression of deep anxiety and dissatisfaction with a situation.
Teacher: Oh, by the way, you failed my class. And you gotta go to summer school. Fuck*ng re*ard.

You: OOOHHH JESUS CHRIST WHYyyYhyy?!?
by yeetsondamalker January 06, 2022
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ba-jesus

cocky boy: “ilysm
nerdy girl: “BOOB
cocky boy: “you suck you just scared the ba-jesus out of me”
by ballslicker9000but69 November 22, 2021
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The Jesus Fandom

In a sentence:

man this makes me want to quit The Jesus fandom

Example:

Bob: hey thought you were going to church

Chad: nah i quit that fandom a long time ago
by Echophobia April 27, 2022
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A slang word for "are you ready to die?"
Johnny was walking slightly faster at the pool and the lifeguard said "Are you preparing to meet Jesus?"
by 69trainboi August 02, 2020
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boomarang jesus

A person you loan money to and they promise to pay you back, but you haven't seen them yet.
I loaned some money to (Insert Name) and now he/she has become a Boomarang Jesus.
by Dr. Pastor Charlie S. October 19, 2017
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jesus nap

a Jesus nap is where you feel like you're gonna die from whatever you ate and you just have to sleep for the salvation of those around you.
After a nice brunch, complete with mimosas, I think it's time for a Jesus Nap.
by jpeg1024 April 06, 2015
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Juiced Jesus

To be toned and muscular, while having long majestic hair and an almost Chuck Norris like beard. *Tattoos are not required, but recommended.*
Man, Opie from Sons of Anarchy really became a Juiced Jesus in season 4 of the show.
by Ulta-Thug MD. June 10, 2015
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