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would Jesus microwave a burrito?

would jesus microwave a burrito?
or just zap it with some crazy ass lightning bolt magic!
by God September 27, 2004
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real men love jesus

Christian heterosexual human males that were born male, and believes himself to be male, (so no puppets or androids) show affection towards another male who lived 2000 years ago named Jesus, who is also the one and only Son of the God of the Christian tradition. This love is one of admiration and worship, not necessarily sexual in nature.
Real men love Jesus, so I don't think that Pinocchio counts.
by Smrff February 3, 2008
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thank you jesus

when not to praise the lord and savior but to reconize a comical or superior situation
look at the ass on that girl right there. " thank you jesus "
by the BEAST July 6, 2004
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Alabama Jesus

An extremely good college football player from the state of Alabama, who all the rednecks in the state speak of in a higher regard than Jesus.
Redneck: Did you hear Mark Ingram just won the Heisman?
Redneck 2: Step aside Joe Namath, we have a new Alabama Jesus.
by buhzinga December 12, 2009
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Kung-fu jesus

by CommiePinko December 24, 2008
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Secret Jesus

Same concept used with Secret Santa during Christmas where everyone draws a name out of a hat and gifts the other person. Secret Jesus is used when participating with a Christian family primarily because Santa is believed to be of the devil and the gift exchange happens on New Year because Christmas Day is reserved for Jesus.
Person 1: "Hey, are you doing Secret Santa with your family this year?"

Person 2: "Nah, my family are fanatical Christians. It's more like a Secret Jesus gift exchange.
by scorpiotail December 29, 2010
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hebe-jesus

Little Church Boy: Wow Jesus, you really must have been popular!
Jesus: *stares*
Little Church Boy: uhhh your giving me the hebe-jesus

Jesus: *stares intensely*
by Hebe-Jeebies July 18, 2014
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