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history

A tale made up to explain to the wife why you came home drunk
You won't believe what happend to me on the way home dear........
by Paul December 25, 2003
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Canada's History

The sexual act of covering moose antlers with maple syrup leaving it out overnight and sticking the bug covered antlers into as many orifices as possible while your partner beats you over the head with the Stanly Cup. Then using the resulting blood and semen to draw a portrait of Queen Elizabeth ii all while listning to Rush or Bryan Adams
Bill: I met a hot girl from Toronto last night
Steve: Did you do Canada's History with her
Bill: Yeah do you want to see the queen portrait
by jetmax25 February 5, 2010
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Canada's History

The 'Canada's History' is an extremely vile, yet strangely satisfying, sex act that originated in the Moose Jaw, SK, General Hospital Psychiatric ward in 1987. It is now practiced throughout Canada, especially in the cold parts, by children, adults, and seniors alike. The act itself involves the male genitalia being dipped in maple syrup before being made to negotiate a pair of Moose antlers which have been strapped to the female's groin area. Male beginners at this move may choose to wear a protective sports cup on the their groin while practicing this skill with their friends--this is often referred to on the schoolyards of Canada as the "Stanley Cup". Regional differences do exist in regards to the 'Canada's History' however. In maritime Canada and northern Quebec, where human-looking and smelling females have long since become extinct, the use of a seal instead of a human female is accepted. While the normal version of the "Canada's History" is culminated by both parties needlessly apologizing to each other, the Maritime/N. Quebec version ends with the clubbing of the aforementioned seal.
"I wonder if mom and dad know we can hear them doing the Canada's History"
by iamnotacrook February 6, 2010
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historywhore

Noun: A person that is overly obsessed/knowledgeable about anything having to do with either history or geography, not to be confused with the word nerd.
The historywhore studied all day and night because he wanted to learn the next 5 chapters for his History Class all at once.
by Giggidy Watson July 16, 2007
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canadas history

the act of two consenting adults fondling eachother with a maple leaf soaked in maple syrup, before going to town on eachother with goalie pads, a french to english translation book, and a picture of alan thicke. all of this done while listening to a record of william shatner's spoken word album "The Transformed man"
jim: so, you showed diane a bit aboot canadas history last night eh?

bob: ohh yaaaa, she knows all aboot it now
by Freida's Boss February 5, 2010
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Canada's History

Is when you put a miniature #99 Wayne Gretzky jersey on your cock, then pull your foreskin over another dude's circumsized penis which has a miniature #66 Mario Lemieux jersey on and dock with him; while being watched by a Sasquatch, Brian Mulroney, and the Blue Nose.
"Hey remember on July 1st when those two guys showed us Canada's History."

"Those two dudes aren't gay they just like Canada's History."
by The Goldman February 5, 2010
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biggest mass murderers in history

pronounced: big-ist mass mer-der-ers in hih-ster-ee
(list)
rules to qualify: be human, responsible for deaths, and recorded in history

This is a list that took me a while to compile, and was used for something else, but I'm posting it here so people know. So people know…


k = 1,000
m = 1,000,000
> = over
< = almost

12. Idi Amin Dada —— 100k-500k (most say 300k)
11. Benito Amilcare Andrea Mussolini —— >430k
10. Mengistu Haile Mariam —— 500k
9. Jean Kambanda —— 800k-1m
8. Leonid Ilyich Brezhnev —— >1m
7. Saloth “Pol Pot” Sar —— 1.5m
6. Genghis Khan —— >1.7m (just 2 cities)
5. Saddam Hussein Abd al-Majid al-Tikriti —— <2m
4. Suharto —— 8m + 10k’s of Allied POW’s
3. Joseph Stalin —— 20m
2. Adolf Hitler —— 6m (Holocaust) + 42m (European deaths in WWII)
1. Mao Tse Tung —— 70m Chinese + countless others of the Far East
Idi Amin, Benito Mussolini, Mengistu Haile Mariam, Jean Kambanda, Leonid Ilyich Brezhnev, Pol Pot, Genghis Khan, Saddam Hussein, Suharto, Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler, and Mao Tse Tung are the 12 biggest mass murderers in history. Search them. Read of their atrocities. Because of these evil men, over 155 million people are dead.
by Nuclear Tank Tactory March 27, 2009
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