Phantom Friend

Noun: A friend who is always there when they need something but never around when you need them, like a ghost.

Josh: So Kayla texted me at 4 am to let her into the building so some random guy could bang her. Yet when I asked her earlier in the day to look at her class notes she was "unavailable."
Matt: Wow, she is such a Phantom Friend.

by BoatzNHoez April 12, 2010

Phantom Menace

Refers to a man with a boner walking or standing behind people while poking at them with his erect penis.

Damn! I just got Phantom Menaced!

by Pee in the park June 7, 2005

phantom piss

Thinking you need to take a piss, only to find you don't when stood in front of the pan.

Thats the fourth phantom piss this morning. Wish I could squeeze out a piss and be done.

by nameisalwaystaken November 9, 2006

shit phantom

when a party-goer uses the bathroom, turns off the water to the toilet (via knob below the toilet bowl), flushes the toilet until the water no longer runs, then proceeds to shit in the toilet.

The shit phantom struck again at Jay C's house.

by Mike B. and Mike V. January 8, 2008

phantom jam

A traffic jam that seems to happen for absolutely no reason. No roadworks, no traffic lights, no car crashes, no nothing. Just a great big traffic jam.

The common driver is often left not only frustrated, but also confused, after coming out of a phantom jam.

by Atomik Spongeface June 16, 2008

phantom menacing

the idea of being in denial, for an extended period of time, that a movie you've watched was bad or disappointing, especially after having highly anticipated it; after this period, you eventually admit to yourself that said movie was, in fact, not as good as you'd thought.

"My most recent case of phantom menacing was after Jurassic World, where I remained in denial for a good half year before finally coming to my senses."

by seefranc June 16, 2016

Phantom Construction

When unnecessary cones, barrels, and lane shifts screw up your morning commute but there isn't a construction worker in sight. A/K/A/ government efficiency at its best.

I was half an hour late due to some phantom construction. Turns out, no one has worked on site in days.

by UDANONYMOUS August 16, 2010