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Mojang Support

A tumor slowly growing within Mojang Studios and an absolute disgrace to the gaming industry as a whole. Those who work at Mojang Support are stupid idiots not capable of anything and are just there to receive money from Mojang for doing little to no work. The response time is unacceptable, often lasting for months, and you are very likely to have your ticket ignored and silently closed in the process. If you do get a response, you will usually be assigned to a trash support rep that will pretend not to understand your issue and provide useless canned responses instead. Due to their incompetence and lack of ability to read and understand an email, it is impossible to reason or argue with any of them and they might just close the ticket as resolved. These people also like to use pseudonyms to refer to themselves as they don't have the balls to use their actual name in the ticket. I wonder why...

Please share this page with as many people as you can. The Minecraft community deserves to know that the product they are paying for comes with no customer support!
Player 1: I just contacted Mojang Support. When will I hear back from them?
Player 2: Mojang Support? You are more likely to hear back from Santa Claus instead!
Player 3: Fuck Mojang Support! Their whole crew can suck my dick!
Mojang Support by 14142 March 29, 2021
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Tech Support 

A modality by which corporations can make marketing claims of providing assistance without actually having to provide any.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Hi, my name is Tech Support Person J. (10337). How may I help you?
> Customer: hi
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Hello.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Before we begin, I need to ask a few questions that will help me assist you better.
> Customer: if i give you a serial number, can you tell me 1)who it was sold
> to
> originally and/or 2)the history of the product?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Can I have your name please?
> Customer: Customer
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Thank you Customer.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): May I have the model and version of your device?
> Customer: model wpg54g
> Customer: it has no version info
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): How about your phone number with the area code?
> Customer: 305-xxx-xxxx
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Thank you for giving all these information.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): What is the problem you are experiencing with your
> XYZ Company product?
> Customer: did you read my first question?
> Customer: all i want to know is if i give you a model and serial number,
> can
> XYZ Company tell me who originally bought the product?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Okay.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Customer I'm sorry but I can't.
> Customer: who can?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Customer where did you get router?
> Customer: i am looking to buy it -
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): I see.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): I suggest you buy it in Retail Company.
> Customer: i am looking to XYZ Company for a simple answer: can ANYONE in
> XYZ Company
> tell me who FIRST purchased a product - if i provide model and serial
> number
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Okay.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): The customer.
> Customer: what does "the customer" mean?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): I see.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): The retailers ordered the product from XYZ Company and
> the consumer purchased it from the feratilers.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Retailers I mean.
> Customer: lets try this again: WHO DID XYZ Company SELL THE PRODUCT TO
> "INITIALLY"?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): XYZ Company is the manufacturer.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): And the retailers are the distributors.
> Customer: can i speak with a supervisor that may be able to understand this
> simple question?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): XYZ Company sell there products to the retailers.
> Customer: again, can i speak with a supervisor
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): I'm sorry for that.
> Customer: again, can i speak with a supervisor
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Okay.
> Customer: again, can i speak with a supervisor
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): I'm sorry but there is no supervisor available at here
> Customer: what? do you work alone, and un-supervised?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Yes, I can answer that question. What is your phone number and I can help you.
> Customer: i already gave you my phone number. all i want to know is to whom did XYZ Company sell a product to
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Okay. Yes, XYZ Company sells products.
> Customer: now, to WHOM - to what person - to what company - did XYZ Company sell one particular product to?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): You can buy one product at Retail Company.
> Customer: is Retail Company the only company XYZ Company sells products to?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): I see. When you buy a XYZ Company its the Retail Company.
> Customer: great, another waste of time tech support ordeal via india.
Tech Support by M.r.S August 5, 2006

Advanced Life Support 

in new york it's a paramedic (EMT-P) or Critical care tec (EMT-CC) the abbreviation is ALS and it can also mean

Ain't Lifting Shit
thats y i have EMT's and i went for my Advanced Life Support
Advanced Life Support by emt121 December 21, 2009

National Girls Support Girls Day 

Us girls need to empower eachother, use this day to support females everywhere.
October 7th is National Girls Support Girls Day

Emotional support 

Someone is getting fucked but they don't wanna admit it
"Oh yeah my boyfriend's over for emotional support."

Darius Support 

A role played by some of the biggest degenerates in the League Of Legends community.
Players that usually play Darius support usually feed top lane and even if they do, they can't leash the jungler otherwise "I'll lose the lane"
Darius supports players can however be super annoying to fight in lane. We recommend playing Kalista, because we Kalista's are Darius support's greatest counters, especially in the top lane.

Players that play Darius support can't usually play other lanes and will occasionally play Master Yi, and will either feed the mid laner, afk, or just never gank. If you see a Darius support in your game, help out the League community and report them.

And Dariss supports...
Please uninstall

-Sincerely the League Of Legends community
"ADC!"
" Alright time to Darius support"

"Please no"

light support 

The process of paying for someone else's electric bill.
"How do you console my mom or give her light support
When you telling her your sons' on life support"
-Kanye West
light support by Sammy the Slick August 29, 2005