Don't Look At My Newspaper!

A humorous expression used to ask someone not to invade one's personal space or pry into what they are currently viewing or reading, especially in public settings. Originating from an encounter where an individual defensively closed his newspaper on a train when others commented on its contents, the phrase playfully asserts one's desire for privacy without direct confrontation.

"Hey, stop trying to see my messages—don't look at my newspaper!"

by 2Bobs May 5, 2024

Flag

Get the Don't Look At My Newspaper! mug.

You don't matter

NOT TRUE MEGYN KELLY! ONE MAN CAN CHANGE THE COURSE OF HISTORY! AND I WOULD KNOW BECAUSE I! AM!! HYM!!!

Hym "Oh Meg.... It isn't that you don't matter. And I can't not talk to my stalker. My stalker is literally everyone I interact with."

by Hym Iam May 15, 2024

Flag

Get the You don't matter mug.

Belief in God is WHATEVER I DO AND NOT THE THING I DON'T DO

No it isn't Jordan! No it isn't! This is You trying to reframe what constitutes belief to justify taking all of that Christian money. To believe in THE CHRISTIAN GOD is to believe that THE THINGS IN THE BOOK DID, ARE, AND WILL HAPPEN, Jordan. Is the Christian God THERE Jordan. Is it THERE and does it have the attributes it is depicted to have in the bible OR.... OR... IS IT NOT THERE, Jordan? Is that A THING THAT YOU THINK? DO YOU THINK THAT THE CREATURE IS THERE? IS THAT A THING YOU THINK OR DO YOU NOT THINK THAT? ARE YOU A BOY OR ARE YOU A GIRL, JORDAN?

Dr. JeepJorp Peepeestones "Belief in God is WHATEVER I DO AND NOT THE THING I DON'T DO! Ok!? So if I don't actually believe in God, then, actually believing in God isn't actually believing in God, OK!? Believing in God is something else entirely! Now... Ok!? You can't just ACTUALLY BELIEVE that God is THERE... You gotta... You gotta, like, grapple with the IDEA that it MIGHT be there! And then you gotta interpret the book so that WHATEVER YOU DO... Is doing the Book! Even if you contradict yourself AND THE BOOK! Right!? See, God (and by extension all higher-order abstractions) is whatever I need to do be, moment to moment, for me to maintain a certain level of moral superiority. So, maturity? Whatever I need it to be, moment to moment. Belief? Whatever I need it to be, moment to moment? God? You got it! Whatever I need it to be, moment to moment."

by Hym Iam May 21, 2024

Flag

Get the Belief in God is WHATEVER I DO AND NOT THE THING I DON'T DO mug.

I don't have time

When you say you don't have time for something, what you're really saying is, "This is not a priority for me right now." The 'no time' excuse is seductive because it sounds reasonable and removes personal responsibility. Research has found that it's socially acceptable to be busy, even admirable in our culture, which is why so many people lean on that excuse rather than just admitting the truth: 'This isn't my main focus right now.'

When my girl friend asked me to help her Chemistry assignment, I was like, 'I don't have time,' but really I just wanted to binge-watch my favorite show instead.

by Emotional Cruiser September 29, 2025

Flag

Get the I don't have time mug.

Don't-be-silly

A dismissive comeback used when someone attempts to challenge, threaten, or oppose you - in power, intellect, or skill - but their effort is so insignificant compared to your capability that it’s almost absurd. Often delivered calmly, not angrily, to emphasize effortless superiority and effortless dismissal.

Used when someone tries to compete with you, but the gap between you is so vast that their effort becomes unintentionally comedic.

"Manchester United thought they had a chance against Brentford. It was clear United where just fantasizing, as the Bees stung them three goals to one, don't-be-silly."

"Jake beat Kelly up, don't-be-silly."

PERSON A: "You think you can beat me."

PERSON B: "Don't-be-silly."

by That African Man October 1, 2025

Flag