Wigan wank

An act of masturbation whilst eating a pie.

"Did you do anything nice for lunch today?"
"No, I just had a Wigan wank in the van before I went round to fix that boiler."

by EmmaBunny December 18, 2020

Cunt Wank

Having sex with someone you find repellent just to give your wrist a break

What the hell Phil, I can't believe you went home with that heffer last night!

Fuck it mate, it was just a cunt wank after all.

by RathanD June 27, 2008

Cheeky Wank

British slang for jerking off (aka squeezing the snake).

She did not want to have sex, instead she sent me out for a cheeky wank.

by Big Sexy 4 March 3, 2010

social wanking

Pleasuring yourself to people you have added as friends or friends of friends on social networking sites.

Dude, I haven't been able to leave my house for days because of the pics people have posted of the bikini party and I have been social wanking all day.

by Satthew Manders October 29, 2009

Cry wank

The ultimate display of self love/loathing, rubbing one out while weeping, superceded only by the ultimate cry wank, involving weeping while wanking, witha cigarette hanging from the mouth and a beer in your free hand.

I was so sad last night all I could do was cry wank.

by Mr C. Wanksalot July 1, 2005

Phone-Wanking

When you shove your phone in your boxers, so that when someone rings or texts you, your phone vibrates giving you a nice feeling. This can also make you hav an errection. For girls if you put it near or in your pussy then you can also have enjoyment.

Eg1
man that girl is hot she was phone-wanking me all last night! Man I got soo horny, I got a massive errection.
Eg2
wow I was being phone-wanked last night by a reli hot guy!

by Josh ;) February 12, 2009

Kryptonite Wank

A wank which leaves a person exhausted and weak because of the repetitive, strenuous motion of the arm.
The person ends up almost as weak as Superman when he is exposed to Kryptonite.

Person 1: Hey, want to go to town today?
Person 2: I cant, sorry, I'm recovering from a kryptonite wank.

by COOLBEAN.S April 2, 2011