Amish Wank

The act of masterbating without using any form of technology what so ever.

My internet was down so I had to have an amish wank last night.

by lord of the snearch August 11, 2010

Wigan wank

An act of masturbation whilst eating a pie.

"Did you do anything nice for lunch today?"
"No, I just had a Wigan wank in the van before I went round to fix that boiler."

by EmmaBunny December 18, 2020

Cunt Wank

Having sex with someone you find repellent just to give your wrist a break

What the hell Phil, I can't believe you went home with that heffer last night!

Fuck it mate, it was just a cunt wank after all.

by RathanD June 27, 2008

social wanking

Pleasuring yourself to people you have added as friends or friends of friends on social networking sites.

Dude, I haven't been able to leave my house for days because of the pics people have posted of the bikini party and I have been social wanking all day.

by Satthew Manders October 29, 2009

Cheeky Wank

British slang for jerking off (aka squeezing the snake).

She did not want to have sex, instead she sent me out for a cheeky wank.

by Big Sexy 4 March 3, 2010

Cry wank

The ultimate display of self love/loathing, rubbing one out while weeping, superceded only by the ultimate cry wank, involving weeping while wanking, witha cigarette hanging from the mouth and a beer in your free hand.

I was so sad last night all I could do was cry wank.

by Mr C. Wanksalot July 1, 2005

A Bit Of A Wank On

A phrase that describes when an object is shaking or vibrating in an abnormal or particularly violent fashion.

"Y'see these ceiling fans, Barry?", Joshua McTrousers called to his workmate. One fan wasn't secured properly and was shaking side to side whilst spinning. "Yes, the middle one has got a bit of a wank on, hasn't it", Barry concurred. Joshua tightened his grip on his tool case. "I'll have this fixed by the day's end, or my name isn't Joshua McTrousers!"

Alice's car had a bit of a wank on, as her complete lack of practical skill had led her to think that the best replacement for a flat tire was a square one.

"Controlling resonance in mechanical systems is a challenge for designers", Professor Gardenhose explained. "If you don't control it properly, your resultant engine might run with a bit of a wank on."

by JankZappa January 19, 2022