A good line to use wif a cute chick when ya wanna do something totally "innocent 'n' harmless" like rub her feet, give her a cuddly soothing massage, etc.
Telling a hot gal dat "It's fun, calorie-free, and won't get you pregnant" can also be effective for getting her to allow you total access to her warm softness wif your hands and lips, provided dat you are actually able to "keep it in your pants" (or at least just in her hand or mouth, if you're both naked). Good luck wif DAT, though --- once you get excited from savoring her exquisite flesh, her juicy-looking coochie may look awfully tempting for your painfully-engorged lulu! What you can do in dis case, though, is to either wear a condom or have her "relieve da pressure" manually/orally, and then you can safely thrust inside of her for at least a few minutes before your sperm-glands "recharge themselves" to da point where you would again be in danger of spurting helplessly while you're eagerly "soothing her baby-tunnel" wif your swollen "love-pipe".
by QuacksO December 12, 2019
Get the It's fun, calorie-free, and won't get you pregnant mug.Hugh: Let’s have KIDSSS!!!
Hugh: (TOUCHES HER STOMATCH AND GETS HER PREGNANT!!!!!)
(WHY CANT ZAC EFRON OR HUGH JACKMAN OR ONE OFF THE DOLAN TWINS DO THIS TO ME THO LIKE WHY!!!!!)
Hugh: (TOUCHES HER STOMATCH AND GETS HER PREGNANT!!!!!)
(WHY CANT ZAC EFRON OR HUGH JACKMAN OR ONE OFF THE DOLAN TWINS DO THIS TO ME THO LIKE WHY!!!!!)
by _ZacxBoo_ On Instagram Add Mr May 26, 2018
Get the pregnant mug.Eating so much you feel fat(ter) and ashamed. Gluttony in its most pure form - specifically during the entire month of December, and trailing off sometime the end of January
Dude: "Are you hiding a whole turkey under that sweater?"
Me: "No, Dude, I'm just Christmas Pregnant. I think I ATE a whole turkey though..."
Dude: "oh.. well just don't eat so much you give birth all over the place. And leave me some Cheetos, bitch!"
Me: <Nom Nom Nom> "Whoever eats the last one.. Wins!"
Me: "No, Dude, I'm just Christmas Pregnant. I think I ATE a whole turkey though..."
Dude: "oh.. well just don't eat so much you give birth all over the place. And leave me some Cheetos, bitch!"
Me: <Nom Nom Nom> "Whoever eats the last one.. Wins!"
by plywoodchicken December 21, 2017
Get the christmas pregnant mug.A mental pillow for pregnant lasses with back pain. Come home after a long day lumpin’ their hump around, straight into the clutches of the pregnant pillow to alleviate the stress caused by that touchy feely colleague in estates.
‘Fuckin’ Jerry tried to give me a massage again today, I can’t wait to get home to my pregnant pillow’
by Mr pregnant pillow December 1, 2017
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