Mattress humper

Someone that spends more time masturbating than having a life.

"im not talking to some fucking mattress humper"

by H0nyoka December 08, 2024

Flipping The Mattress

A slang for having intense sexual intercourse to a point where there are wet spots on the mattress and you need to flip it.

E.g.

Mab: Where were you last night?
Funky: Oh we ended up flipping the mattress.
____________

Nassim: Hey girl, what's wrong?
Faeze: It's been so long that i got my mattress flipped 😫😩

by FunkSpunk December 07, 2023

Flipping The Mattress

A slang for having intense sexual intercourse to a point where there are wet spots on the mattress and you need to flip it.

Mab: Where were you last night?
Funky: Oh we ended up flipping the mattress.
____________
Nassim: Hey girl, what's wrong?
Faeze: It's been so long that i got my mattress flipped 😫😩

by FunkSpunk December 14, 2023

foam mattress

The best type of mattress hands down. Much superior to spring mattresses. Nothing can compare to a foam mattress when it comes to comfort. However when you buy a foam mattress you are also making the statement that sexy time isn't reserved in the bed anymore, this is more of a pro than a con really (vanilla sex = booorinng).

Jane and dane decided to get a foam mattress and did not regret it one bit. However it was impossible to fuck on it, so they did it on the floor instead.

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian May 07, 2021

Raw mattress

Mattress without any sheets or blankets.

Why are you sleeping on a raw mattress?

Look at this truck driver, he is sleeping on a raw mattress.

by Teacher C March 24, 2019

Mattress Jousting

Yes, it is a game played in college frat parties but has nothing to do with actual jousting. It is the act of two male parteners who are clearly intoxicated partaking in the act of sword fighting (this is where the jousting comes from) with their wangs on a bed (mattress).

It is commonly used as a joke to people who are clearly uninformed about the slang term.

Frat boy: Hey, Jason, do you want to go mattress jousting later on tonight?
Jason: No, I'm not gay
Frat Boy: I am

John's Older Brother: Hey John have you ever gone mattress jousting?
John trying to be cool: Yeah me and steve mattress joust all the time its fun as hell
Steve: I always win
(Arguing over who wins when both are now labeled queers
John's older brother: Wow?

by ogwannabee July 27, 2009

put her through the mattress

Used in a sexual way. Meaning to take a girl to bed and pound her.

He told her he wanted to put her through the mattress because she was so hot

by mystikspiralx February 19, 2025