first poster

A person whose main goal in life is to post first on an internet video, picture, or anything else that allows comments. Usually this person will simply post "First!" or something along those lines rather than making an insightful or meaningful comment. First posters, while they themselves often believe that they are serving a valuable purpose and/or accomplishing something by being first, are generally disrespected by much of the rest of the online community.

First poster #1: "I was the first to post on a Failblog picture on March 17, 2008. It ended up getting 946 comments."
Neil Armstrong: "Wow, that's really impressive. I was the first person to walk on the moon."
Babe Ruth: "I was the first player to hit 60 home runs in a season AND the first to hit 700 career home runs!"
Albert Einstein: "Well I was the first to prove the relationship between mass and energy as well as many other fundamental principles of the universe that had puzzled scientists since the beginning of time."
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I was the first to climb Mt. Everest."
First poster #1: "What did you do up there?"
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I put up a sign that said 'First!!!' and got my ass back down that mountain. It was freezing up there, dude!"
God: "Well I was the first to create, well, you know, everything in the entire universe."
First poster #2: "Sweet man, congrats. I was the first to comment on that YouTube video of the news anchor accidentally saying 'blow job' on live TV."
Neil Armstrong: "LOL! That video was classic! Epic fail!"
Other commenter: "Shut up, all of you!!! Nobody cares if you're first! Get a life!"

by Nicholas D July 27, 2009

First Base Friends

A non-sexual friendship that includes flirting and occasionally making out.

Girl 1: "Hey, I saw you and Brian making out yesterday. Are you two an item?"
Girl 2: "No, we're just first base friends."

by nhw6789 May 7, 2010

First Day of School

It's never too bad...you have a clean slate, new classes, you get to see all the people who you haven't seen over the summer...that whole can't fall asleep the night before it type of thing. Then the second day comes, and it's not too bad. Then you get to the 4th and 5th days of school, and begin to realize that you will have to live with that hell for the next 9 months.

The first day of school is tommorrow...SHIT!!

by Jakabones August 13, 2006

first-born phobia

The common and general paranoia that parents often have with their oldest child. They are usually strict and uptight about activities, curfews, and relationships, but once the second child comes around, they loosen up a bit, often frustrating the first-born.

"Hey dude, ya going to the Blink-182 concert?"
"Sadly, no. My mom's got a serious case of first-born phobia."

by SanneStealsSocks August 28, 2009

first everything

First everything means when a couple gets together and they do everything for the first time. Holding hands to kissing all the way to fucking for the first time.

My first love, first kiss, first everything.

by Randy Brobandy November 15, 2013

First of the Day

First of the day, is actually the first drink of the day. Usually this is centered around, if in College, one waking up and instinctively grabbing beer instead of breakfast first. In other circles, this runs along the lines of taking your flask, mickey, 26er, or other bottles of liquor and swigging it - in those cases it can occur anytime during the day, preferably earlier from 8:30 AM - 1:00 PM. Continued drinking to follow.

However this term does not only apply to those who like alcohol, the term can also be used for drug use, wake and bake is synonymous with first of the day. Basically any intoxicating substance can be applied, though as a general rule alcohol is the main one considered.

From Easy Rider:

Jack Nicholson's character along with Dennis Hopper's and Peter Fonda's have just been released from the county lock up. Nicholson pulls out a mickey of Jim Beam and states,

"Here's the first of the day fellas. To ol' D.H. Lawrence."

He then swigs the Jim Beam and in a knee-jerk reaction lifts one arm and moves it like a chicken with a seizure. He makes a sound that echoes within the group,

"YA!!!!! ni-ni-ni-fu-fu-fu-gaahhhh... Indians."

by Jimblor April 7, 2009

I remember when I had my first beer.

An effective insult. Used when someone says something sophomoric. Made famous by Steve Martin on his "Wild and Crazy Guy" album.

(Audience member): What's your mood watch say?
(Martin): Yeah, I remember when I had my first beer.

by dcd$ January 21, 2011