Any (usually) white American male that attempts, sometimes successfully, to convince everyone around them that they are not a bro, despite a certain and varying penchant for decidedly bro-like activities or beliefs; frequently using sexual experience to demand respect from one's friends, expressing a desire to fight others, an enjoyment and subsequent short-lived obsession with whatever mainstream rap song is currently "hot", open objectification of women, using ability and ever-readiness to drink heavily to assert dominance and respect within a social group, etc. are all telltale signs of a Closet Bro's true nature.
Note: Closet Bros know on some level what they are, and are afraid to admit, perhaps even to themselves, their bro-tendencies. They guard themselves against reality by vehemently proclaiming a hatred for bros; this only serves to aggravate the situation, making their bro-ness even more painfully obvious to their peers.
Note: Closet Bros know on some level what they are, and are afraid to admit, perhaps even to themselves, their bro-tendencies. They guard themselves against reality by vehemently proclaiming a hatred for bros; this only serves to aggravate the situation, making their bro-ness even more painfully obvious to their peers.
Example One
Mike: Hey man, I heard you were hanging out with Vanessa. How's that going?
Kyle: Dude, I hit it and quit it. That bitch don't mean sh-
Mike: Closet Bro! You!
Example Two
Dave: So Kyle was giving me a ride home, right? And we're sitting at a stoplight, when all of a sudden he turns on the radio and starts blasting a T Pain song. I just opened my door and got out.
Paul: I always kind of suspected that guy was a bro.
Mike: Hey man, I heard you were hanging out with Vanessa. How's that going?
Kyle: Dude, I hit it and quit it. That bitch don't mean sh-
Mike: Closet Bro! You!
Example Two
Dave: So Kyle was giving me a ride home, right? And we're sitting at a stoplight, when all of a sudden he turns on the radio and starts blasting a T Pain song. I just opened my door and got out.
Paul: I always kind of suspected that guy was a bro.
by Pharg March 10, 2009
Get the Closet Bro mug.Registered Republican voters who previously supported Putin’s Pawn but who are so disgusted with the GOP that they will be covertly voting across the board for Democrats in the upcoming elections.
Of course I’m a lifelong Republican but that doesn’t mean I’m not one of the Closet Democrats who will be choosing to vote against fascism!
by Dr Bunnygirl November 5, 2019
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One who comes off to most as kind but is actually an asshole.
Hence the name "Closet Asshole": meaning and asshole in the closet.
Closet Assholes are normally really nice to those they don't know but do subtle mean things that aren't super mean but are slightly irritating.
Pretty much antagonists or rebels.
Hence the name "Closet Asshole": meaning and asshole in the closet.
Closet Assholes are normally really nice to those they don't know but do subtle mean things that aren't super mean but are slightly irritating.
Pretty much antagonists or rebels.
ex 1: someone that leaves you to fend for yourself when the weird chick you find gross asks you out.
"My besfriend is such a Closet Asshole!"
ex 2: someone that when you say not to touch your stuff they poke it.
"My besfriend is such a Closet Asshole!"
ex 2: someone that when you say not to touch your stuff they poke it.
by SexyA7XFreak July 8, 2011
Get the Closet Asshole mug.A person, unlike the avatard, who is obsessed with Avatar: The Last Airbender, but his or her friends don't know it. He/She usually is NOT into anime, therefore liking an animated show is unusual in his/her circle of friends, leading to small amounts of shame regarding his/her fandom. He/she will come up with lame/not lame excuses or lies to be home friday nights to watch Avatar, buy the DVD's but keep them hidden, and other such traits. Closet Avatards sometime come out of the closet if one of their friends turns out to like it aswell.
There's nothing wrong with liking A:TLA, but since it's animated, my friends will think it's dumb!
I'm a closet avatard. I don't want people to think I'm an anime obsessed person when I'm just into one, NOT anime animated show!
I'm a closet avatard. I don't want people to think I'm an anime obsessed person when I'm just into one, NOT anime animated show!
by Azara October 2, 2007
Get the Closet Avatard mug.A closet dork is someone who is socially accepted; however, when they are out of the public eye they conduct activities one would consider unpopular. (Public eye meaning anyone who is socially accepted. The closet dork may still associate with other dorks behind closed doors)
Closet dorks do not fit the stereotypical "look" of a dork, nerd, geek, etc. They generally are able to fit into any "group" of people. Ways to discover if someone is a closet dork may be the usage of vocabulary that your ordinary social butterfly may not understand or Dungeon and Dragons books mysteriously observed sitting around in their residence.
Closet dorks are generally attractive to semi-attractive dorks/geeks. This is part of the reason why they are accepted into popular crowds. It is very difficult for a unattractive dork to become a closet dork.
Closet dorks do not fit the stereotypical "look" of a dork, nerd, geek, etc. They generally are able to fit into any "group" of people. Ways to discover if someone is a closet dork may be the usage of vocabulary that your ordinary social butterfly may not understand or Dungeon and Dragons books mysteriously observed sitting around in their residence.
Closet dorks are generally attractive to semi-attractive dorks/geeks. This is part of the reason why they are accepted into popular crowds. It is very difficult for a unattractive dork to become a closet dork.
Closet Dork: Sorry guys, I'd come out with you tonight but I have to take this one girl I just met to the movies.
Popular Friend: He's full of crap. "The reason he isn't coming out tonight is because he's a closet dork and there's a World of Warcraft tournament tonight that he always plays in."
Some of the following qualities usually can be applied to the closet dork:
plays video games, plays at least one sport that requires physical activity (cards do not count), reads "real" books, reads maxim/playboy, invited to parties, throws parties, nice personality, found attractive by attractive females, makes conversation that that people can relate to, has their own stories to tell as opposed to other people's stories/made up ones, can talk about good movies/games, can talk about sports/knows the rules, has a good sense of style as opposed to all vintage/mother bought clothing, do not use woman yet still enjoy sex, and you must be an intelligent person or speaker.
Many Fraternity brothers are considered closet dorks. A "dork" going to college far away from home and learning how to be "popular" as well as a different person. When social events are planned the closet dork presents himself as a "jock like" individual when he really is the definition of a dork behind the scenes. Once this is learned then one can consider himself a closet dork.
*If you are not sure if you are socially accepted or a dork and you are not considerably smart then you should refer to the word "loser". This may apply to you; therefore, strive to attain the aforementioned qualities. It can only get better from here.*
Popular Friend: He's full of crap. "The reason he isn't coming out tonight is because he's a closet dork and there's a World of Warcraft tournament tonight that he always plays in."
Some of the following qualities usually can be applied to the closet dork:
plays video games, plays at least one sport that requires physical activity (cards do not count), reads "real" books, reads maxim/playboy, invited to parties, throws parties, nice personality, found attractive by attractive females, makes conversation that that people can relate to, has their own stories to tell as opposed to other people's stories/made up ones, can talk about good movies/games, can talk about sports/knows the rules, has a good sense of style as opposed to all vintage/mother bought clothing, do not use woman yet still enjoy sex, and you must be an intelligent person or speaker.
Many Fraternity brothers are considered closet dorks. A "dork" going to college far away from home and learning how to be "popular" as well as a different person. When social events are planned the closet dork presents himself as a "jock like" individual when he really is the definition of a dork behind the scenes. Once this is learned then one can consider himself a closet dork.
*If you are not sure if you are socially accepted or a dork and you are not considerably smart then you should refer to the word "loser". This may apply to you; therefore, strive to attain the aforementioned qualities. It can only get better from here.*
by Bluefly125 June 6, 2009
Get the Closet dork mug.When a guy lies to a girl and says he is gay so she will quit trying to rhino clam him, but somehow ends up in bed with a guy to prove it.
John: Hey, Stephanie is psycho, you should run away from that freak.
Ed: I am thinking about telling her I am gay so she'll leave me alone.
(two weeks later)
John: Hey Rich, how come Ed's been such a bitch lately?
Rich: I wasn't supposed to say anything, but he ended up taking a closet rod in the ass so he wouldn't get Cathy Bates'd by Stephanie.
John: Really!? What a fag!
Ed: I am thinking about telling her I am gay so she'll leave me alone.
(two weeks later)
John: Hey Rich, how come Ed's been such a bitch lately?
Rich: I wasn't supposed to say anything, but he ended up taking a closet rod in the ass so he wouldn't get Cathy Bates'd by Stephanie.
John: Really!? What a fag!
by 31Flavors August 2, 2012
Get the closet rod in the ass mug.a polite term meaning that a girl is highly sexually active and just doesn't let others know about it.
"Hey Eli, your ex-girlfriend is totally a in-the-closet-it-girl huh!"
also see: closet slut closet whore
also see: closet slut closet whore
by Sama August 12, 2005
Get the closet girl mug.