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ramen

Ramen, as we know it, is an anemically Americanized version of a Japanese rip-off a Chinese gastronomical phenomenon known as lo mein. That means that, not only are the noodles pressed into a cake and dried, but both the noodles and the sauce are also purified of all useful nutrients. It amounts to strings of bleached flour steeped in warm brine.
OK, so we're convenience addicts, but we still don't have to settle for such flavorless, salty broth and mushy noodles.

Go to an oriental food store. Don't worry that that we look like guyjiin when we walk in. It can't be helped, so don't worry about it. Buy a few packages of Mi Bo.

Mi is a southeast Asian word, equivalent to the Chinese word mein, meaning "noodle". Bo is a southeast Asian word for moo, or cow, as if in English we said "moo" instead of borrowing the word "cow" from some other language to replace our word moo. Southeast Asians go ahead and say their word for cow when they talk about what they eat, instead of borrowing the word "beef" from yet another language to replace our word cow. How sensible of them.

So you go into the oriental food store and buys some packages of cow-flavored noodles. The packages look just like ramen noodle packages, so make sure you don't buy any Americanized brands like Smack or Top. Mama and Kung Fu are good brands.

If you don't recognize any brands, check by feel, what the flavor packet is like. Good flavor packets in truly oriental "ramen" packages will feel thicker and softer because they contain two or three different kinds of seasonings: A regular flavor packet, a flavored oil packet and possibly, a spice packet.

Dump the flavoring packets into half as much water as you're used to using for ramen while it's heating so you have a nice broth that will cook flavor into the noodles when you add them. Do some taste-testing while gradually adding the spice, so you don't find the final result toxic to your taste buds. Don't add the noodles until the water boils. Keep it boiling until the noodles are done.

If you want to be authentic, don't break the noodles. Some parts of Asia use chopsticks and some don't, so that's optional.

If you prefer convenience, break the noodles small enough to fit in your soup spoon.

Lift the noodles out of the broth and place them into a bowl and garnish it generously with bean sprouts, snow peas, and/or chopped onion to suit your taste. Then pour the boiling broth over it all.

When you're ready for another adventure, go back and buy some other flavor.
by Downstrike April 14, 2006
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Ragey

He is being very RAGEY today
by Simon Williams May 19, 2003
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ramen nachos

Nachos made with Ramen noodles instead of tortilla chips. Invented by Jason Graham Fox. Also known as the German Nacho.
Excuse me, do your Ramen Nachos contain MSG?
by JasonBox August 18, 2011
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Ramen

Pronounced with accent on 2nd syllable.

Used as a substitute for "amen" by those who wish to avoid religious expressions.
"Religulous" is the best movie of 2008.

Ramen, brother, ramen.
by UrbanElvis January 2, 2009
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Raeyyan

Curry is such a Raeyyan.
by Betterr January 25, 2021
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The Ramen Noodle

When you are lieing on your stomach with your pants pulled down and your penis between your legs. While the girl lies behind you giving you a blowjob with a finger in your butt.
Originated in Waterloo Ontario from a student at Laurier University.
Yo last night my girl gave me the best Ramen Noodle.
Did you hear about Michael last night getting the Ramen Noodle.
by JLZ96 April 4, 2017
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Rameen

Do you see that Rameen?
by Master At Words December 6, 2019
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