Green tea mattress

When you eat healthy and blow your load on the bed, making your partner sleep in the wet spot.

"Don't worry, it's good for your skin, it's a green tea mattress"

"My girl was so mad, I gave her a green tea mattress treatment"

by insanoclan August 29, 2016

mattress sniffer

A mattress sniffer, someone who hides under a bed in the hope of sniffing their ladies period leaks

Man I'm such a mattress sniffer, last night I hid under the bed with my wife's tampons so she had no choice but to leak her red gushing goodness everywhere

by StretchyRaff November 29, 2016

minnesota memory foam mattress

When on a one night stand, and sleeping at the other person's residence, you wait until the other person is asleep. You then shit the bed, clean yourself off, and push the sleeping person into the shit you just left in the bed.

I'm not sure what happened, I just woke up completely covered in shit.

Sounds like he gave you the ol' Minnesota memory foam mattress!!

by talontd92tsi November 9, 2015

mattress nips

nipples, which once pressed down, resurface and rise to average nipple height similar to memory foam

dude 1: "damn, yo bitch got sum sleep number lookin ass nips!"
dude 2: "yeah she has them mattress nips that rise, like yeast brother!"

by iusedtobeafish March 3, 2019

Fast Mattress

Getting laid as fast as possible.

If you want some fast mattress you gotta use Tinder.

by jSalty January 12, 2019

snow mattress

The layer of snow on the roof of a car or truck. They are seen when someone drives around having failed to remove it from the top of their car/truck and can slide off and hit people or other vehicles. snow, snow storm, ice, blizzard, cars, trucks, road, highway, ice scraper, mattress

I got pummeled by a driver’s snow mattress while I was walking down the street yesterday.

by joecoolthefool January 14, 2019

mattress-magnetism

A strong/intense EMF-field that emanates from your bed-springs; said powerful field creates a debilitating "pull" on the iron in your blood and thus makes it very hard for you to get out of bed, especially on those occasions when it is absolutely necessary for you to do so, such as when it's time to get ready for work, you "need to pee real bad", the telephone or doorbell rings, someone else in the household (child, pet, elderly house-guest, etc.) urgently requires your assistance, etc.

I am firmly convinced dat there is a great conspiracy among Sealy, Serta, and da other major mattress-manufacturers to intentionally create mattresses that mess with your body and cause you to feel groggy and heavy when trying to lift your head up off da pillow. Perhaps they specifically design their mattresses' coil-springs to act like magnetic coils that harness the earth's magnetic field and then create a strong magnetic pull on your iron-rich blood, this "mattress-magnetism" is why it's often such a gargantuan struggle to raise yerself off da sheets.

by QuacksO January 31, 2019