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literary masturbation

The act of using unnecessary elaborate speech to convey a simple point, or speaking in a tone that would make you seem like a pompous dipshit.
I recently attended the line at the food product facility, at which I purchased a deliciously decadent three cheese lasagna and a bottle of Spumante.
by Tiki Torch Bob June 19, 2004
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Masturhation

Surfing a social network, and (whether intentional or no premeditation) hating on peoples' pictures. Obviously you don't post a comment, but you may tell a friend or two to check out this person, and how you think they're fake. Although it can happen with anybody, it is more common in people with ovaries.
Brit: Omg, did you see Hannah's new pictures? She's wearing A&F clothes, but she always talks about how she hates preppy clothes.

Dave: I don't care, at all. Quit with your masturhation. All you've been doing for the past 30 minutes is complaining about other girls on myspace.
by Domonic February 16, 2009
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Masturbation fodder

Anything used for a guy to masturbate to.
My girlfriend has gone on vacation for a week without me, so I am checking out the porno sites for masturbation fodder.
by Bg A March 21, 2012
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anal masturbation

To Repeatedly shove an object into ones anus untill they have an orgasm over it
Warning: May result in death if the object is too long and punctures a vital organ or the large intestine
Man that pencil hurt because it poked into the sides as i was doing my daily routine of anal masturbation
by Bob Johnson March 15, 2005
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Masturbation

If masturbation were a sport, I'd be a jock.
by LORD HELL FEAR BLOOD March 16, 2003
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Masturbation

Pulling and pumping your hard penis up and down to achieve an orgasm. At this stage your penis will ejaculate hot, sticky stuff all over your hands and then slowly go soft.
One time i was masturbating in my room fully naked when my brother came in and I was caught in the act. He could not have walked in at a worse time as I was about to come. I quickly stood up to hide myself but i was past the point of return and sperm pumped into my palms as i hid my dick. It dripped through my fingers and the orgasm was so powerful i let out a few pathetic gasps. I still cannot look my brother in the eyes. I lock the door now when I have a masturbation session.
by Callum69 May 24, 2009
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manstrating

Present progressive form of manstrate: (v) Cyclical emotional patterns to which men are at times susceptible.
Don't f*** with me, I'm manstrating right now.
by Greyson January 4, 2008
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