by America Lover 🇺🇸 November 16, 2018
Get the New Bacon-ings Burger mug.The most beautiful of all meats. Its perfection is to such a degree that in Dante's "Divine Comedy", the highest level of heaven was described as being made from bacon.
According to numerous ancient texts, bacon is the divine force that prevents Chaos from destroying the universe. The primal gods needed food to supply them with the energy to create everything, and that food was bacon.
Nowadays, bacon can be prepared in numerous ways:
1) Fried
2) Raw (not recommended)
3) Smoked
4) Baked (like fried, but not greasy)
5) Caramelized (sugary bliss)
6) Covered in chocolate
7) Supplemented with lesser foods (as in filet mignon)
8) Milkshakes, ice creams, etc.
Essentially, bacon is the ambrosia of all foods. Without, mankind would descend into darkness and perish. To prevent this, bacon should be consumed once a week AT MINIMUM. Else, dire consequences would ensue.
There is a special place in Hell for those who despise bacon.
According to numerous ancient texts, bacon is the divine force that prevents Chaos from destroying the universe. The primal gods needed food to supply them with the energy to create everything, and that food was bacon.
Nowadays, bacon can be prepared in numerous ways:
1) Fried
2) Raw (not recommended)
3) Smoked
4) Baked (like fried, but not greasy)
5) Caramelized (sugary bliss)
6) Covered in chocolate
7) Supplemented with lesser foods (as in filet mignon)
8) Milkshakes, ice creams, etc.
Essentially, bacon is the ambrosia of all foods. Without, mankind would descend into darkness and perish. To prevent this, bacon should be consumed once a week AT MINIMUM. Else, dire consequences would ensue.
There is a special place in Hell for those who despise bacon.
A) The true reason that the Romans destroyed Jerusalem in the late 1st century CE was that the Jewish people refused to accept the Romans' gift of divine bacon.
B) "When you can't have sex, have bacon. When you can't have bacon, cry." -Every sane human. Ever.
C) Bacon is to meats as badonkadonk is to female anatomy.
B) "When you can't have sex, have bacon. When you can't have bacon, cry." -Every sane human. Ever.
C) Bacon is to meats as badonkadonk is to female anatomy.
by BarryGoldwater November 6, 2012
Get the bacon mug.Related Words
balcony
• balconysexual
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• Balconi
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When a gentleman wraps his dick in bacon and jerks off onto his lady companions back using the grease as lubrication. He then will let the lady eat the bacon, a treat in thanks for her troubles.
by Tidecow15 June 17, 2010
Get the Bacon Backstroke mug.by Drezdyn February 22, 2004
Get the burnt bacon mug.The labia of the female genitalia
by Ezman May 19, 2003
Get the bacon flaps mug.When something is gone over & over again. Repeatedly, belaboringly, needlessly. With a hugely smartass undertone.
Can also mean: Shut it. Zip it. Enough already. Finis.
Can also conveniently mean:
Bullshit!
Can also mean: Shut it. Zip it. Enough already. Finis.
Can also conveniently mean:
Bullshit!
Shirley? Don't you think you've just about beat this isssue with your severe lack of confidence into the bacondirt? Get a grip for the love of god.
by aMelunknowntoyooboo February 14, 2009
Get the Bacondirt mug."Amanda left work early, but didn't go straight home. She met up with Officer Freytek for her weekly bacon ride-along."
by TomKVideo August 27, 2009
Get the bacon ride-along mug.