Facebook Nerd 

Someone who obsesses over facebook. These people undertake a number of behaviours that would not be even marginally acceptable in real life.

This often includes:
-Passive aggressive statuses because whoever it's regarding "knows who they are"
-Sharing of captioned pictures of cats, and no other funny pictures from the web
-Posting "inspirational pictures" with quotes about trite life philosophies; often written over the face of someone in a picture with more photoshop filters than anyone with taste would consider.
-Any posts regarding any level gaming will be ended with "i can be such a nerd lol"

Facebook Nerd: pokemon is awesome fuck i can be such a nerd at times
Actual Nerd/Reasonable Person: Playing pokemon no more makes you a nerd than listening to rap makes you black

Facebook Nerd by Faerduron October 16, 2012

Facebook Date 

v:

To change your relationship status to a person of your choice, with their consent of course, so that you are in a relationship with them.

Ashley: hey kel, wanna facebook date?

Kelly: yeah sure!

Ashley: *Ashley is now in a relationship with Kelly*

Ashley: so... when do you want to get married?

Kelly: *Is in shock thinking*

Ashley: You can answer any time now!

Kelly: This isn't happening!

Ashley: It's Aparent that it is! So...?

Kelly: Okay, Ashley. Prove it!

Ashley: What?

Kelly: Marco....

Ashley: Kelly, we're not in a pool!

Kelly: Do accept and understand what I'm asking of you?

Ashley: Whats that?

Kelly: I don't exactly know.

Ashley: Why?

Kelly: Because, if I can be honest here. You pretty well wrecked it for any other guy.

Ashley: How?

Kelly: Pacman, Laughter, when that elevator door opened it was like magic.

Ashley: Magic?

Kelly: Yes! Magic! They do call Disney the most magical place on earth, don't they?

Ashley: And your point is?

Kelly: Thank you for being my first *WHAM* *WOW* He's handsome, funny, & chill. Doesn't laugh that I'm a girl that liked video games and strange hats. And he's from another freaking Country! Just my luck right?

Ashley: You still didn't answer my question!

Kelly: You didn't ask me?

Ashley: Yes I did!

Kelly: No, you did not! Definitions don't count in real life. Rule 5!

Ashley: WHAT???

Kelly: It's only fair. Real life questions deserve real "Actual Life Gestures!" Right or Wrong?

Ashley: WOMEN!!!!

Kelly: MEN!!!

Facebook Date by 78910SumDumbHen November 29, 2012

Facebook Inquisition 

1. A one-man or group attack on a person via facebook due to a distasteful comment or suspicion of undermining commonly-held beliefs or status quo.

2. A facebook user who deletes, blocks, or unfollows many friends randomly.

3. The suscipion of a man about a person or group of people whom he believes are conspiring against him or disagree with him.

First Example: Man, we totally called out that chick who dissed you last night on facebook. It was like a facebook inquisition.

Second Example: Dude, Scott's been deleting people on facebook who he doesn't like. He's on a facebook inquistion.

Third Example: My boyfriend thinks I'm cheating on him. He is questioning all my friends on facebook like some kind of Facebook Inquisition.

Facebook Inquisition by cardinalrichelieu February 17, 2013

Facebook pout 

An annoying and vaguely negative comment posted as a Facebook status update whose purpose is to let everyone know that the poster is upset about something, and to gather attention. It is the online adult equivalent of a child pouting. The post does not specify what the user is upset about. It is an attention-seeking move. If someone is silly enough to ask what the problem is, the original poster will not answer directly.

Facebook User 1: "I just don't know why I even bother..."
Facebook User 2: "What's the matter, Facebook User 1?"
Facebook User 1: ":-("
Facebook User 2: "Facebook User 1, what's the matter, pumpkin?"
Facebook User 1: "People are just like always the same"
Facebook User 3: "It's just a Facebook pout"

Facebook pout by huecodoc2 November 5, 2013

Facebook Beauty

A girl who gets a bunch of likes on her ("Artsy") profile picture, but isn't particularly attractive and/or popular. Most likely because she has a good camera and is good at editing.

Kid- Yo, check out this hot girl that just hit me up.

Friend- She's not that hot man.

Kid- What do you mean?! She has 300 likes on her profile picture!

Friend- Yea, but she's only a Facebook beauty.

Facebook Beauty by LanaDelJane November 25, 2013

Facebook Fresh-by Date 

The length of time any post on Facebook (and by extension, other forms of social media) is likely to receive new likes or comments.

Artie: Dude, that post was a GEM! I can't believe it only got two likes and a comment.

Mac: Well, it probably won't get any more. It's a week past the Facebook Fresh-by Date.

Facebook Fresh-by Date by ADPS III March 12, 2014

Facebook groundhog 

Someone that that has a facebook account just to "pop up" and make smartass comments on all their frienemys statuses. These insults are usually followed with an "lol" which makes it an (un)funny joke to everyone, but , hilarious to the Groundhog.

Status: Got a softball game tonight, hope it doesn't rain.

Facebook Groundhog: I hope it rains tonight, because you suck at Softball... lol

Facebook groundhog by Fiddle de de May 9, 2014