Crap Tickets

Toilet paper

Dude. I sat down to take a massive dump at Dodger stadium and realized after I had mudbutt that there were no crap tickets.

by DoNotCorner July 10, 2010

Golden Ticket

Magnum condom

I make girls feel special because they get the golden ticket.

by Hamilto86 August 26, 2016

just the ticket

very suitable and exactly what is needed

This tool is just the ticket!

by manfred.ackermann April 21, 2018

Hell Ticket

A Hell Ticket is a joint that is rolled using any bible or religious paper, and by smoking that paper grants you a one way ticket to hell. Make sure that when smoking the Hell Ticket you do it with friends so you don’t burn in Hell alone.

I am gonna go straight to Hell for how many Hell Tickets I smoked last night.

by BrooksPennyWhore February 25, 2019

Jizz Tickets

A plain, simple, preferably cheap although not too cheap or it sticks to the skin roll of toilet paper cleverly hidden in one's room for usage of cleaning up one's mess proceeding a successful wanking.

"Where has internet porn been all my life?! . . . Also, where are the Jizz Tickets?. . ."

by adem g September 8, 2013

booty ticket

A slip or verbal version of the booty ticket is exceptional. A booty ticket is where a loved one or someone wanting to grab that booty. It cannot be denied or reversed

Dude, you should show her your booty ticket

by mister bum hole November 25, 2019

Speeding Ticket

(NOUN): A summons issued to a coworker or employee when they screw up a task because of task saturation. Or a summons your spouse issues to you for screwing something up even though you are managing a thousand things correctly.

e.g., 1) My boss keeps giving me more sh*t to do just so he can give me a speeding ticket for messing up a task. 2) My wife is always giving me speeding tickets when I screw up and when I give her a speeding ticket, she always figures out how to turn it around and issue the speeding ticket back at me.

by Barely Managing February 13, 2023