Mountain oysters

Bulls nuts... broiled and full of warm splooge

That redneck over there is sucking on mountain oysters!

by Poon doctor May 11, 2019

oyster cracker

an over-worn pantyliner that smells like the dumpster behind Long John Silvers

I think Jane has an oyster cracker in her dungarees...someone open a window.

by AJ Elk January 11, 2012

Turkish Oyster

A blob of jizz on the pillow. Also known as a melted Marshmallow if it's still warm.

"I wiped up the sheets, threw the towel in the basket, put my head back on the pillow and copped a Turkish Oyster right in the eye".

by SKL Crew August 17, 2010

Toilet Oyster

When you walk into a public restroom and find another male's spunk on the toilet. You are immediately in shock and in need of counseling for your new found PTSD.

"Oooooooooooof there's a toilet oyster"

by DigigenderClown January 14, 2019

Dirty Oyster

When you have a chest infection, but still keen to give oral sex to your significant other. So you cough up a bit of green phlegm and spit it on them down under for a bit of extra lubrication.

Friend: "Hey, how have you been with this chest cold lately?"
"Yeah, good I gave my partner the Dirty Oyster last night."
Friend: "Oh that's nasty man."

by poida225005 November 28, 2021

rusty oyster

When a woman is on the rag, and drags her bleeding snatch across your face while you sleep.

I was sleeping peacefully when out of nowhere Lindsay gave me the ole' Rusty Oyster

by Mobileheath January 26, 2021

Oyster Clamp

One of the various phrases used to describe the act in which a woman rubs her vulva against her partner's body for the purpose of sexual pleasure. In this case, an Oyster Clamp occurs when the lips are sticking due to the lack of lubrication and are firmly pressed together so that they become interlocked or "clamped."

see also:
scissoring

We were rubbing our pussies together so hard that we gave ourselves an Oyster Clamp.

by Awesome Jassim January 16, 2017