Safety Plank

The wooden board you strap horizontally across your ass to prevent you from falling into the cavernous vagina your are about to slam.

I told him to use a safety plank but oh no he knew better. Dude we had to call the fire department to get him out of her vagina.

by Angus McCracken January 25, 2020

safety jk

The act of writing "jk" after saying something borderline risky to someone else online, to ensure the preservation of your reputation.

Guy 1: "I totally had to throw in a safety jk when talking to Jen the other day."

Guy 2: "Really, let me see the convo!"

Guy 1: "Hey Jen, wanna go out tonight? I've been wantin to see them titties for a while now! Jk

by i.foster.friedman May 25, 2009

safety laugh

when someone makes a joke about something you dont really get, but you know its a joke so you give a short laugh

when someone says: "make sure you check their

pacers before you head out"
you reply with a safety laugh: "haha"

by ouch123456 July 11, 2011

Safety Guy

Someone who at every chance will slow the job down. By far the most hated person on any job. They can often be found wearing rock climbing gear, and a chin strap bicycle helmet skulking around the site. Will write you up and ruin your day if given the chance. Normally are divorced and hated by their children. Will cower and cry when confronted. In order to become a safety guy you must hate your life and every life decision you’ve made before accepting the position.

The safety guy keeps writing me up for useless nonsense.

The safety guy is an absolute asshole stay away from him

That dudes wife keeps cheating on him I bet he’s a safety guy

by sparky1221 May 3, 2023

Safety pocket

A place to store illegal substances upon ones body. Referring to an anal cavity or up a vagina

Yo bro I'm being pulled over by the cops put that shit in your safety pocket

by QueenNikola June 16, 2021

safety razor

A shaving implement developed by King C Gillette in the early 20th century. Safety razors have a cap, a safety bar, and a handle. These razors use disposable double-edge stainless steel blades.

Safety razors replaced straight razors as the dominant means for a man to shave his face for most of the 20th century until Gillette Co. developed disposable cartridge razors to replace safety razors.

Dude: what's with the razor burn?
Bro: my mach 3 tugs at my skin when I shave.
Dude: have you considered using a safety razor?
Bro: what's that?
Dude: the only way to shave.

by RazorRick November 5, 2022

safety pullout

When a guy has to "pull out" prior to cuming, so that he doesn't impregnate his female lover.

Dude, I had to do a Safety Pullout last night because I forgot. Rubber...

by LTCFA November 25, 2017