hand oyster

When you sneeze into your hand, and you sip it from your hand like a cup

"Oh shit Martin, looks like you've made a hand oyster!"
"How was the hand oyster?"

by Numbox February 7, 2018

oyster cracker

an over-worn pantyliner that smells like the dumpster behind Long John Silvers

I think Jane has an oyster cracker in her dungarees...someone open a window.

by AJ Elk January 11, 2012

Dirty Oyster

When you have a chest infection, but still keen to give oral sex to your significant other. So you cough up a bit of green phlegm and spit it on them down under for a bit of extra lubrication.

Friend: "Hey, how have you been with this chest cold lately?"
"Yeah, good I gave my partner the Dirty Oyster last night."
Friend: "Oh that's nasty man."

by poida225005 November 28, 2021

Turkish Oyster

A blob of jizz on the pillow. Also known as a melted Marshmallow if it's still warm.

"I wiped up the sheets, threw the towel in the basket, put my head back on the pillow and copped a Turkish Oyster right in the eye".

by SKL Crew August 17, 2010

nasty oyster

Further advanced sexual technique where the male in either a hetro or homosexual pairing, piss fucks the recipient up the ass, throws up into his hand and then rubs the sick into the recipients face.

It gives the experience of a night out at bad seafood restaurant without having to spend any money.

Dave: "Shall we go to the new seafood restaurant on the shore?"

Matt:"Nah, we can just cut to the chase with a quick Nasty Oyster"

by Dr Bajashooze August 24, 2011

oyster magic

A glistening white vagina

When the time was right and the lights were dim she presented her new husband with her oyster magic

by Mtjoy library June 2, 2017

rusty oyster

When a woman is on the rag, and drags her bleeding snatch across your face while you sleep.

I was sleeping peacefully when out of nowhere Lindsay gave me the ole' Rusty Oyster

by Mobileheath January 26, 2021