mattress-magnetism

A strong/intense EMF-field that emanates from your bed-springs; said powerful field creates a debilitating "pull" on the iron in your blood and thus makes it very hard for you to get out of bed, especially on those occasions when it is absolutely necessary for you to do so, such as when it's time to get ready for work, you "need to pee real bad", the telephone or doorbell rings, someone else in the household (child, pet, elderly house-guest, etc.) urgently requires your assistance, etc.
I am firmly convinced dat there is a great conspiracy among Sealy, Serta, and da other major mattress-manufacturers to intentionally create mattresses that mess with your body and cause you to feel groggy and heavy when trying to lift your head up off da pillow. Perhaps they specifically design their mattresses' coil-springs to act like magnetic coils that harness the earth's magnetic field and then create a strong magnetic pull on your iron-rich blood, this "mattress-magnetism" is why it's often such a gargantuan struggle to raise yerself off da sheets.
by QuacksO January 31, 2019
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mattress eater

hoNEyYBeES
being a mattress eater is not healthy bro
by jaymethazine May 16, 2021
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Snow Mattress

When you live above the 40th parallel and you don't have a garage to keep your car in during the winter, you may find yourself driving around with an 8 inch thick slab of snow on the hood of your vehicle.
I thought that it was starting to snow while driving down the highway, but it was only coming from the giant snow mattress on top of the car in front of me.
by Mysterio 015 January 03, 2023
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snow mattress

The layer of snow on the roof of a car or truck. They are seen when someone drives around having failed to remove it from the top of their car/truck and can slide off and hit people or other vehicles. snow, snow storm, ice, blizzard, cars, trucks, road, highway, ice scraper, mattress
I got pummeled by a driver’s snow mattress while I was walking down the street yesterday.
by joecoolthefool January 14, 2019
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Fast Mattress

If you want some fast mattress you gotta use Tinder.
by jSalty January 12, 2019
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Mattress Mack

A Houstonian legend that won 75 million dollars from the Astros winning the World Series. Mattress Mack is a G.
Brayden: Hey did you hear that the Phillies fans were taunting the Houstonian legend, Mattress Mack?
Me: Yeah, I know. Don't mess with Mack!
by VezinaIgor31 November 12, 2022
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mattress lap

An bountifully haired pubic region, usually on a female, with the appearance of a part stuffed mattress.

Uncommon due to the exponential growth of styled pubic depilation amongst the teen and twenty something demographic.
Wow look at that!!

Ya think it's a merkin?

Mebbe, but it is a she is a true Mattress Lap
by Townsman March 13, 2016
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