wanker's cramp 

A condition commonly occuring in those diagnosed with RSI, (although not necessarily), in which the sufferer experiences pain or discomfort after excessive wanking.

Sean: wank me off, bitch.
Lucy: i can't, i've got wanker's cramp.

wanker's cramp by 400 May 30, 2008

wanker's whiplash 

A painful spasm felt after nearly being caught wanking, the actual pain is felt when one pulls their hand back from their cock and their shoulder is strained by the sudden movement. A good way of preventing this from happening is to stretch before masterbating or simply locking your door.

Person A - Hey, why's your arm in a sling?

Person B - Last night i thought i was alone in the house, so i had a wank. Midway through i heard my mum come up the stairs so i paniced and... (points at arm) this happened.

Person A - Whoa... Wanker's Whiplash... You should have limbered up first.

wanker's whiplash by Anonymous #924876 January 19, 2010

Wanker's Cramp 

Noun

A painful stiffening of the muscles of the hand, characteristically caused by excessive amounts of masturbation.

Wanker's Cramp is likely the most pathetic accidental self-inflicted injury of all time, being just slightly above paper cuts from toilet paper, balsa wood splinters, and pressing the button on Bop It too vigorously.

Jim hasn't left the house for almost 5 days. It's only a manner of time before he gets Wanker's Cramp.

Wanker's Cramp by IQuarent July 22, 2014

Wanker's arm 

When one arm is grotesquely more muscular than the other.

Rafael Nadal has such a Wanker's arm

Wanker's arm by Autolab September 28, 2012

wanker's length

1.An arbitary unit of measurement, defined as the maximum length of toilet paper used when cleaning ones spunk from the carpet (8 sheets).

2.Used as an insult, meaning you are toilet paper covered in nob sneeze.

1. I was literally a wanker's length from getting the bus.

2. He was really tall, about one and a half wanker's lengths.

3.It is about a 200 wanker's length walk to the shops.

4.You fucking dumb wanker's length.

wanker's length by Joniquai March 20, 2005

Wanker's Warts 

Callouses formed on the hands of a chronic male masturbator. Also known as Wank Wounds.

Dude what's with your hands! You better go see a dermatologist.

No need braaaahhh. It's just wanker's warts. I've been fapping about 10 times a day for a while now.

You might want to ease off a bit there broooohhhh!

Wanker's Warts by Eaton Holgoode June 3, 2016

Wanker's Helmet 

After wanking and shooting your load into a tissue, you make the fatal mistake of touching the tissue to your still wet and sticky cock. this causes the tissue to absorb some of your cum and, as wet paper does, separate. On removal of the tissue you may find small scraps still clinging to flesh. These scraps must be removed manually whether at the time of the offense or some time later (when they have gone hard!)
It is a tell tale sign you have been wanking.

"Bloody wanker's helmet" he muttered as he picked the wet flecks off his purple bulldog.

After going to the loo back at her place he was horrified to find he had wanker's helmet

Wanker's Helmet by Tatteru May 18, 2009