Conserv-absurd

A Conserv-absurd is an argument that provides poor reasoning in support of its conclusion. Conserv-absurds differ from other bad arguments in that right-wing people find these psychologically persuasive, and therefore mistakenly believe its conclusion to be true even though it’s false.

Examples of “If P then Q” Conserv-absurds:
“If you don’t support the war, you don’t support the troops.”
“If we fight them over there, we won’t have to fight them here.”

Frequently such illogical sound bites are made into bumper stickers, and the false information will be distributed via email (to catapult the propapoop). More recently this trend has increased among social conservatives.

For example, infidelity is okay IF:
1. You don’t do it in your office. If you have extramarital sex elsewhere like an airport restroom or another country, then it’s okay, even when done at the taxpayer’s or company’s expense.
2. There is reconciliation with your spouse, no matter how much you really hate each other. Especially when there are kids, no matter how much you fight in front of them. It’s better to pretend you have "family values" than to have family well-being.
3. You ask forgiveness, though you don’t regret cheating--just getting busted. It has nothing to do with merit, but rather the appearance of repentance.
4. You do it because you’re fed up with Obama.

Antonym - constipational

There they go again trying to blame everything on the “liberal media.” But Conserv-absurds are the real reason the country is going down the toilet!

by ConcealedID July 13, 2009

absurd turd

1. a very large poo
2. a very small poo when expecting much more

I didn;t even realize I had to shat, and next thing you know I had an absurd turd. It was bigger than a baby, my poo baby!

by Bud E Love May 14, 2003

theater of the absurd

Plays that veer away from the traditional convevtions of characterization, setting, and plot. Often referred to as modernist literature.

Many believe that Shakespeare's "Comedy of Errors" paved the way for the theater of the absurd.

by some punk kid May 1, 2005

Absurd Bird

A hand gesture in which one hooks both thumbs together and flaps their fingers like a bird's wings. Like its cousins awkward turtle and tmi turtkey, absurd bird is meant to show just how absurd a situation is. The more absurd the situation, the higher absurd bird flies.

Twilight Fan: Have you read Breaking Dawn yet?!

Random Guy: Yeah, absurd bird was flyin' high the whole time.

by Anonymous3827264832 September 29, 2008

.9.I Will Drift Around Her Curves, I Will See Her Soon, Say She Wants To Know My Name, I Thought She Knew The Truth Because Being Alone In the Dark Is The Sunflower Deed For The Absurd.9.

.9.I Will Drift Around Her Curves, I Will See Her Soon, Say She Wants To Know My Name, I Thought She Knew The Truth Because Being Alone In the Dark Is The Sunflower Deed For The Absurd.9.

.9.I Will Drift Around Her Curves, I Will See Her Soon, Say She Wants To Know My Name, I Thought She Knew The Truth Because Being Alone In the Dark Is The Sunflower Deed For The Absurd.9.

by .6.9.7.6.ArimorylulA.8.3.0.5. August 12, 2025

Mormon's Prayer: "There are no losses, straight finesse, call me shalashaska, Used to call me absurd now I pull up on the curve because I smack more backs that I care to admit, I swear I spit hot lava and that is my sword."-Mitsurugi

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Mormon's Prayer: "There are no losses, straight finesse, call me shalashaska, Used to call me absurd now I pull up on the curve because I smack more backs that I care to admit, I swear I spit hot lava and that is my sword."-Mitsurugi

by SuchBackSmacker March 12, 2025

absurd word

A hard-to-believe factoid.

That's certainly an absurd word you just uttered.

by Ereck Flowers May 3, 2019