Morning Bruises

Bruises you wake up with on your legs from walking into things drunk the night before.

*Guy 1* Man my legs hurt for some reason.
*guy 2* Oh you have Morning Bruises

by MAXXX13 November 15, 2007

Cruising for a Bruising

someone who is pushing there luck and likely to become physically assulted for their actions

Rob) Can you please stop smoking in here, it stinks!

Dude) You're cruising for a bruising mate, do you wanna ask anything else?

Rob) <exits room>

by footjuice_solutions June 17, 2009

Slut Bruise

A bruise or bruises found on someone's knee making it look as though they've given a ton of Blow Jobs recently. The bruise can be from anything but has to be on one or both knees. The bigger the bruise the bigger the slut.

Suzy "omg look at Trina's knees!"
Jenny "those are some pretty huge slut bruises, her boyfriend must be happy!"

by em-dizzle4sizzle September 24, 2011

Beer bruises

Mystery bruises caused by a night out with the beer monster, which you have NO MEMORY AT ALL of obtaining.

Particularly impressive when found on the face, possibly from calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone.

Ouch, what the hell was I doing last night!? And where am I? And why is there diced carrot in my hair!?

by ..WiL May 24, 2005

Bruising the Banana

Similar to jacking off, but standing in a dark corner and sobbing while doing the act.

He really enjoys bruising the banana.

by mal1234 October 30, 2019

booze bruise

bruises that mysteriously appear after a night of heavy drinking

Dude, I must have been partying pretty hard last night cuz I have a wicked crop of booze bruises this morning.

by MaggieMegs April 21, 2007

bruise-cut

A bruise with a cut on top of it. It may or may not bleed. This particular injury is usually associated with core sports activity.

<a man skateboarding falls> Dude what you'd get... a bruise-cut?

by Jorden Elliott May 4, 2008