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Teaching Crabs How To Read

Verb,

1. The action of teaching crabs how to read

2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate,

Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes.

Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies.

The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356.

Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.
Billy got burned at the stake for heresy!
I heard he was teaching crabs how to read!
by Lanse Grimez January 31, 2022
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tech nigga

A recent example of the many aliases that marques brownlee AKA markASS brownlee possesses.
gained popularity due to the fact that youtube literally shows you his channel when you type in "tech nigga" into the search bar
Dang that tech nigga's uploaded a video about the galaxy fold for the 83rd time
by darkmeteo May 2, 2019
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Nouveau Teche

Similar to nouveau riche, nouveau teche are non-tech companies that have very recently called themselves "a Tech Company".

They often talk loudly about buzzwords of the day like blockchain, AI, ML, Big Data, IoT. More prolific ones use chained combos to impress, like "we use Big Data IoT with Blockchained AI to drive our candle making business."
You got to be amused by the number of nouveau teche coming into the Bay Area these days.
by cre8destiny October 10, 2018
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annoying bitch teacher

A fucking bitch who gets on your nerve every day, and decides to take everything you bring in class to the office and makes you want to slap the bitch out of her.
Wow, Mrs. Tess is a annoying bitch teacher.
by Vinderhar April 5, 2017
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WWWW tech support is the best tech support company to ever exist with the best tech professionals
My printer wasn't working yesterday so I called the World Wide Web Wide Tech Support and they fixed my printer for only 5 $500 google play cards!!!
by A tech support penguin March 18, 2021
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Tech extremist

People opposing Mongolia who consume rare earth metals to enhance their physical prowess.

They steal uncles and force them to work in their illegal fishing farms around the world in their search for rare fish, and also use them to sabotage the Mongolia GDP in every way they can. They oppose illegal bug fights and take extreme measures to prevent them.
Hans: "The tech extremists are taking my uncle to work in metal mines in Central Asia!"
Luca Maxim: "This will not be tolerated in 2023."
by nbkseven November 1, 2022
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teacher bladder

Condition occurring when a teacher cannot leave their classroom for extended periods of time and must hold it.
Ma. Jones hasn't left her room since second period. She must have teacher bladder.
by Hey Ms. H! November 30, 2017
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