A martial artist action movie star with a face full of wrinkles, constantly squinting eyes, short black hair with a widow's peak and a dumb ponytail.
His movie career began with "Above the Law" in 1987, and throughout the 90s he starred in several more mainstream action movies. His career came to a doom in the early 00s, where in 2002 he made his last released-to-theaters movie "Half Past Dead" with rapper Ja Rule.
Through recent years, he's been making crap Direct-to-DVD movies, sometimes making up to four or five movies a year. 2010 saw the return of Seagal to the big screen...for Machete, in which he's the villain. Oh and he dies.
His movies are known for:
*His character either is out for revenge or has to rescue someone.
*The fight scenes have quick cuts, lots of obvious doubles, unnecessary close ups and the camera spinning around rapidly trying to fool audiences into thinking Seagal is actually hitting someone.
*Seagal requires a stunt double to walk.
*He can take someone's gun by barely raising his hand.
*He will say some stupid cliche line before beating the shit out of someone.
*His movie's plots are always "SERIOUS" dark and gritty
His movie career began with "Above the Law" in 1987, and throughout the 90s he starred in several more mainstream action movies. His career came to a doom in the early 00s, where in 2002 he made his last released-to-theaters movie "Half Past Dead" with rapper Ja Rule.
Through recent years, he's been making crap Direct-to-DVD movies, sometimes making up to four or five movies a year. 2010 saw the return of Seagal to the big screen...for Machete, in which he's the villain. Oh and he dies.
His movies are known for:
*His character either is out for revenge or has to rescue someone.
*The fight scenes have quick cuts, lots of obvious doubles, unnecessary close ups and the camera spinning around rapidly trying to fool audiences into thinking Seagal is actually hitting someone.
*Seagal requires a stunt double to walk.
*He can take someone's gun by barely raising his hand.
*He will say some stupid cliche line before beating the shit out of someone.
*His movie's plots are always "SERIOUS" dark and gritty
Danny: Wanna watch a Steven Seagal movie?
Marshall: Didn't that guy die from eating too many McDonald's?
Marshall: Didn't that guy die from eating too many McDonald's?
by MtnDew23 January 13, 2011
Get the Steven Seagal mug.To jab someone in the throat with an upward palm, fingers together similar to the way Steven Seagal hits people. This is accented by saying "Seagal" as you do it.
I was walking through the bar "Seagaling" random strangers.
I snuck up on Dino and jabbed him in the throat, yelling "Seagal" as I did it.
That fucker Seagal'd me for no reason when I was leaving the Sox game.
I snuck up on Dino and jabbed him in the throat, yelling "Seagal" as I did it.
That fucker Seagal'd me for no reason when I was leaving the Sox game.
by VincenzoL April 2, 2013
Get the Seagal mug.The living God of No Selling, Steven Seagal has never been injured in any movie he has starred in. If you were to use it as an adjective, it would describe a situation were you were expected to get hurt, but came out without a scratch.
Person 1: "Whoa, you just Steven Seagalled that Car Wreck. It looks like everyone else involved is dead."
Person 2: "That's because I am Steven Seagal." (Breaks Person 1's Neck)
Person 2: "That's because I am Steven Seagal." (Breaks Person 1's Neck)
by Big E to the Z December 1, 2006
Get the Steven Seagal mug.A professional 80's pornstar who moved on to acting in the 90's. As soon as the 80's were over, he stopped making pornos just like THAT. Before his porno career he was a professional gay bodybuilder who occasionally dabbled in strongman competitions. He dominated that one where he lifts the boulder all over the place. While he was doing this, he often squinted and looked constipated, but doody would eventually drop out of his ass as he victoriously finished.
In his pornos he was most notoriously known for ponytail penetration. That is, he stuck his ponytail in some poontang. He inspired 2girls1cup with his 80's feature 2girls1ponytail. Many of his other scenes show him in the background beating off to 3 orgies: girl/girl, guy/girl, guy/guy. His most famous pornos are "Aikido in a Speedo" and "Out for an Orgy". In the former he is seen dancing around with pigtails wearing a pink speedo in front of many Japanese girls. He got banned from the porno industry for snapping the necks of too many co-stars. Seagal also forgets to wipe after he takes a dump. He just uses the residue as a quick source of hair gel. His action movie career was most impressive. He does an excellent job as the antagonist in Kindergarten Cop and he also plays as that one convict in ConAir. He's the convict with the ponytail who is burned by Cyrus The Virus for stealing his plane. It's false to say he is fat because he was absolutely RIPPED in out for a kill.
In his pornos he was most notoriously known for ponytail penetration. That is, he stuck his ponytail in some poontang. He inspired 2girls1cup with his 80's feature 2girls1ponytail. Many of his other scenes show him in the background beating off to 3 orgies: girl/girl, guy/girl, guy/guy. His most famous pornos are "Aikido in a Speedo" and "Out for an Orgy". In the former he is seen dancing around with pigtails wearing a pink speedo in front of many Japanese girls. He got banned from the porno industry for snapping the necks of too many co-stars. Seagal also forgets to wipe after he takes a dump. He just uses the residue as a quick source of hair gel. His action movie career was most impressive. He does an excellent job as the antagonist in Kindergarten Cop and he also plays as that one convict in ConAir. He's the convict with the ponytail who is burned by Cyrus The Virus for stealing his plane. It's false to say he is fat because he was absolutely RIPPED in out for a kill.
by WAFFLESTOMPER666 October 20, 2008
Get the Steven Seagal mug.by B. Patterson August 30, 2009
Get the Seagal-do mug.by @100lbsofdope March 29, 2019
Get the Seagally mug.The act of attempting to instill fear into someones mind by sharply turning your head only and staring into their eyes with a sharp look, only to fail due to not being threatening or deadly in anyway. Usually attempted by fat, overweight people, or by a man by the name of Johnathan Diaz.
Reference to Steven Seagals film cover of "Today You Die"
Reference to Steven Seagals film cover of "Today You Die"
"I bumped into someone earlier and he tried to give me the Seagal Staredown. Was I supposed to feel threatened?"
by crimsonchin27 April 17, 2011
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