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Scientology

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A halfassed plot for a sci-fi novel turned into a 'Religion' by L. Ron Hubbard.
A Scientologist and his money are soon parted.
by Justin June 29, 2005
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scientologist

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A crazy bunch of freaks who's leader is a dead science fiction writer who was drunk when he made their "super doctrines". They believe in aliens, and enrons, or something like that. Notable members are Tom Cruise and John Travolta. Their biggest goal is to recruit more members and make more money. Tom's goals are that and just make a complete ass of himself.
Me: Dude, War of the Worlds was awesome!
Ron: Tom Cruise is a Scientologist.
Me: Dude, War of the Worlds sucked!
by Big Mikey T. July 2, 2006
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scientology

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Fake ass religion that suckers people into giving money to cheapo bastards. What they tell you about it is that if you believe in Scientology you will be forever happy, however, this is just an excuse to get your money.
Many rich Celebirties are in the Church of Scientology. Hmmmmmm........
by weirdgirl August 7, 2003
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See cult, scam and retarded. Basically the religion (har har) of Scientology says that some aliens did some shit a long time ago and that is why people are unhappy assholes. Founded by writer L. Ron Hubbard after he started taking his own books a little bit too seriously (or just got greedy, who knows).

If you pay them you get some devices and stuff that are supposed to purify you, and move you up the 'chain of command' until you get to join some sort of secret inner circle and plot how to take money away from other dumbasses. They didnt even add most of the alien shit until a bunch of people gave enough money to get promoted to the 'pure' stage and still werent happy.

Very popular with celebrities and other amoral rich people because the basic tenet is you can buy your way into heaven without any of the stipulations most other religions put on that, like not being a hedonistic, backstabbing little bitch.
Scientology: Object Proof that Celebrities are Dumb
by C++ September 13, 2005
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Scientology

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A space-opera fairy tale apparently believed by otherwise mentally-functioning adults, and which was simply made up by L. Ron Hubbard who famously proclaimed:

"if you want to make a million dollars, start a religion!" The Church of Scientology was born.

Remarkably, "Scientology" is banned in Germany because even those very contrite Germans don't have to take THAT degree of bullshit.

Ron L Hubbard maybe did not specifically mention kissing major celebrity ass to attract lots of gullible people to "Scientology". But all that Celebrity ass-kissing works really well for sucking in the 'recruits' - new members who are then systematically brainwashed, exploited and have their entire lives controlled, cult-style.

Also you may not know of Ronnie's "faithful" members causing stupid harm other members' lives if such member comes to their senses and try to get OUT of Sci-fi 'tology.

You can go debunk "Scientology" right now on the website Operation Clambake:

www.http://www.xenu.net/

... unless you happen to already BE a 'Scientologist' in which case you are given a special COS web browser that blocks out all reality from your computer screen.
I suspected my date was a little off in the head until she said she was "into Scientology just like Will Smith" at which point I pretended to go to the washroom and went home.
by JonasOfToronto May 1, 2009
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"Hey Terry, thats a load of Scientology.
by Nickhasl55 May 17, 2008
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scientology salesman

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The guy who repeatedly calls and emails you to come to Dianetics office to take a personality test. Really, it's just another way to convince you to buy more scientology crap.
Jon: "I honestly don't want to be a scientologist."

Greg: "Ha, HA, HA, ha...I knew you would say that.That's why I want you to purchase this workbook from Ron, it explains exactly how you are feeling right now."

Jon: "Tom Cruise is gay."

Greg: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

Jon: "Ha, got rid of that scientology salesman."
by jvarna5 February 1, 2008
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