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breaking the remote

another euphemism for masturbation
origins are thought to be from a certain night, when a horny 16 year old was pleasuring himself, and dropped the remote, breaking the back.
Nate: Dude, right before you came here i was totally breaking the remote

Chris: Sick
by Nate R.. August 18, 2006
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remote

Adjective:

1. rural, far away, distant, the middle of nowhere.

2. isolated, inaccessible

3. (Of a chance) frail, slim, marginal

4. cold, distant, aloof

Noun:
Abbreviation of remote control, so named because it controls a machine from a distance.
Could you pass me the remote? From here it's remote and the chances that I can reach it are very remote.
by Lorelili April 3, 2011
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West Virginia Remote Control

This happens when having anal sex doggy style with a girl on the living room floor, close to the TV you both are watching. You tell her you want to watch the ball game. When she says "get the remote", you grab it, stick it in her snatch and make her change the channel by hand.
Johns girl loves to watch Will and Grace and have anal sex and the same time.This night John wanted to watch the ball game, when she smarted off. She got the West Virginia Remote Control.
by Jeff Dailey August 13, 2007
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Remote ADD

Someone with Remote ADD doesn't have an attention span that exceeds a commercial break. When watching the desired show and a commercial comes on, someone with Remote ADD will change the channel until he finds one without a commercial, later returning to the original channel.

Severe cases of Remote ADD will result in the inflicted person staying on the new channel until a commercial break, forgetting the original show.
Bob and Jim were watching Goldfinger and every commercial that came on, Bob would switch to ESPN hoping to catch SportsCenter. Unfortunately, there were usually commercials, so Bob went back to Goldfinger.

The continual Remote ADD without anything being on infuriated Jim.
by A Rab $$ January 2, 2011
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Remote Dock

When the tip of your penis touches the front of the toilet seat or bowl, where another man's penis has already touched.
"hey man, thanks for letting me use your porcelain throne. I remote docked on the seat, so you may want to clean it before you honk out a dirt snake."
by Raunchtastic August 17, 2016
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The Universal Law of the Lost Remote

The law of physics (not really) that pertains to the difficulty of finding a lost TV remote, set of keys, etc. The only logical explanation is that the item has dropped into a black hole and the only way to bring it back to this realm is to stop looking for it. Once you've gone about your day, it practically falls back into your lap.
I was late to work today because I couldn't find my keys! My boss was okay with it, though. I told him it was The Universal Law of the Lost Remote.
by Ndallenaz January 29, 2010
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TV Remote

The greatest of all time, or "G.O.A.T." at the popular game hide and seek. Much like the NBA basketball player Steph Curry, the TV remote is always there when it doesn't matter, but never shows up when you need it.
"What happened to the love that you used to have for me?" Sarah asked
"Just like the TV remote, it's lost and gone forever." Paul replied
by ovaltinejenkins15 October 1, 2017
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