A.K.A. Patriot Act
1. A sex act between a man and a woman, which consists in hanging the woman to the ceiling using leather straps for the legs, engaging in rough coitus, beating the woman's rear end blue, letting go off the straps and finishing on her buttocks. Her strap marks represent the stripes, the buttocks the square and the splooge the stars of the flag of the land of freedom, hence the very appropriate name.
Note: The most ideal way to do it is to use exactly thirteen straps, commit the act against the partner's will and/or knowledge, and do it publicly, to brashly deny it afterwards. The woman, or passive partner, also has to be as light-skinned as possible.
At least four variations of this popular sex technique also exist:
The Liberal:
Giving the passive role to a man, the penetrative role to a woman, or both. Bonus points if it's also interracial.
The Conservative:
Shooting down the passive partner and burying the evidence. Bonus points if everything takes place in the cheapest Roadside Motel avaliable and no condoms are used.
Raising the Flag:
Just as the act is finished, stick a pole no less long than a broomstick on the passive partner's mouth. Actually raising the flagpole high above and saluting a possibly inexistant crowd is optional. Overdoing it may however turn the whole thing into a conservative, so be careful.
The Veteran's Day Homage:
Giving your girlfriend/wife to a real veteran for the purpose of this act.
1. A sex act between a man and a woman, which consists in hanging the woman to the ceiling using leather straps for the legs, engaging in rough coitus, beating the woman's rear end blue, letting go off the straps and finishing on her buttocks. Her strap marks represent the stripes, the buttocks the square and the splooge the stars of the flag of the land of freedom, hence the very appropriate name.
Note: The most ideal way to do it is to use exactly thirteen straps, commit the act against the partner's will and/or knowledge, and do it publicly, to brashly deny it afterwards. The woman, or passive partner, also has to be as light-skinned as possible.
At least four variations of this popular sex technique also exist:
The Liberal:
Giving the passive role to a man, the penetrative role to a woman, or both. Bonus points if it's also interracial.
The Conservative:
Shooting down the passive partner and burying the evidence. Bonus points if everything takes place in the cheapest Roadside Motel avaliable and no condoms are used.
Raising the Flag:
Just as the act is finished, stick a pole no less long than a broomstick on the passive partner's mouth. Actually raising the flagpole high above and saluting a possibly inexistant crowd is optional. Overdoing it may however turn the whole thing into a conservative, so be careful.
The Veteran's Day Homage:
Giving your girlfriend/wife to a real veteran for the purpose of this act.
John A: I gave a good American Pounding to Jazznellie last night.
John B: I have always dreamed of doing that shit! How was it??
John A: Son, It was glorious.
John B: I have always dreamed of doing that shit! How was it??
John A: Son, It was glorious.
by SHITCOCK October 11, 2014
Get the American Pounding mug.Josh went to the strip club and when he got home his wife caught him poaching eggs in their master bath.
by Johnny Burk May 4, 2018
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by Nick Conte October 4, 2005
Get the Punching The Clown mug.When one friend befriends another through your introduction, soon putting more effort into that person than you do, simultaneously making you seem less desirable and devaluing both your original friendships. This can happen consciously or unconsciously. Notably, one does not tend to ever make any new friends for themselves through the friend poacher.
I used to be close with Guy until I introduced him to Buddy, who started inviting him out all the time; I think Buddy is friend poaching, especially considering I've never met any good friends through him.
by Jernstar October 1, 2016
Get the Friend Poaching mug.Masturbating in such a way that when you cum it shoots out in strings that make it look like squid tentacles coming out of your penis.
Man 1: "Why is your house such a mess?"
Man 2: "Sorry, I got a bit carried away punching the squid last night."
Man 2: "Sorry, I got a bit carried away punching the squid last night."
by Arcaros August 1, 2017
Get the Punching the Squid mug.Doing it with your underwear on
by Poptart656 August 5, 2017
Get the Punching rags mug.1. The act of taking a dump into a pot of boiling water.
2. The act of busting down the door and shooting someone in the chest with an elephant gun dressed as Hunter van Pelt from Jumanji, while they are taking a dump, and stealing their shit.
2. The act of busting down the door and shooting someone in the chest with an elephant gun dressed as Hunter van Pelt from Jumanji, while they are taking a dump, and stealing their shit.
1. Bro, I was camping last weekend and after I was done cooking the beans, I took the leftover water and took a dump in it.
Dude, yes, I love Loaf Poaching
2. Ricky is in the bathroom right now, I want to play a prank on him, what should I do.
You should absolutely poach his loaf man.
Dude, yes, I love Loaf Poaching
2. Ricky is in the bathroom right now, I want to play a prank on him, what should I do.
You should absolutely poach his loaf man.
by sanfred December 14, 2010
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