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Taking matters into your own hands

Masturbating
Choking the chicken
Beating the bishop
Slap boxing the one-eyed champ
Holding your sausage hostage
Squeezing the cream from the flesh twinkie
Having a date with Pam and her five friends
Having a tug-o-war with the cyclops
"the five finger knuckle shuffle on the one-eyed, blue-veined, purple-headed, custard-chucking, salty yogurt slinger."
"Mary rejecting him for sex once again, Larry had to take matters into his own hands."
by Johnny Pot Smoker September 5, 2003
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Matheus

The Most Amazing person in the world! It is said whoever has this name has powers to seduce every women in the world! People with the name "Matheus" also contain in them magical powers.
oh Matheus just made feed his pet unicorn
by Timmyturnerjr November 29, 2011
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trivial matters

Trivial Matters: Things in life that have almost no value. A lot of people care too much about these things and some use these matters against others to boost their self esteem.
Mary: Karla misspelled you're on Facebook. That means she is stupid and I am better than her.
Amy: You should not judge people on trivial matters. She is probably very smart in her own way and that could have been a typo. It's Facebook! Chill out and stop caring about stupid stuff.
by Universal One Love October 27, 2013
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Mattersville

We spend our golden years in Mattersville. We can do whatever we want, whatever we please.
Lets go to mattersville.
by Kay Pee October 12, 2010
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Mateus

A super hottie. Normally a guy with that name gets lots of pussy.
His name is Mateus
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mattussy

“And mattussy saves lives!”

created by twitter user @VISVNYA
by daemonswhore January 29, 2023
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Nothing Else Matters

An awesome (love) song by Metallica which doesn't even have to have the word 'love' in it for anyone to know what it's about.
Another possible meaning is that it’s about a fat kid who tries to get candy from a machine, but the candy machine jams. This is how you get it:

"So close no matter how far..."
(he's so close to the candy yet so far away)

"Never opened myself this way..."
(kid starts crying)
by Captain Katelyn March 25, 2005
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