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machete

having your lover's family stick each one of their feet in your prolapsed anus.
I really wanna machete your family. jfc
by revinja111 May 10, 2022
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Machete momma

A machete momma sports a junglelike body hair or pubic bush that may require a machete to get through.
Harriet was a machete momma who never shaved her body hair.
by I, Wreckerrr October 4, 2016
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machete monks

Undoubtedly one of the premier rock bands in Chicago's underground scene.
Vocals - Q
Lead guitar - Dan
Guitar - Kevin
Bass - Eddie
Drums - Johnny
Check them out at www.geocities.com/machetemonksmusic/
"That Machete Monks show last night blew me away!"
OR
"GODDAMN! I did know the Machete Monks were that good."
by Oh holiest one December 16, 2004
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Machete Gun

n. A large gun that shoots machetes. Many people are under the impression that this formidable weapon was used in the Vietnam War. Two versions are known to be in existence:
1.) the rapid fire machine machete gun; which can shoot up to 3 machetes per second.
2.) the sport/recreational version; more commonly available to the general population, this one must be manually loaded and cannot fire more than one blade at a time.

if you are looking to buy said weapon, keep in mind that ammo is extremely expensive.
"Dude, Kelli is such a bitch, i'd love to shank her with a freakin' machete gun!"

"Go kill yourself with a machete gun."
by xxGeorgina August 22, 2007
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Machete con machete

Spanish term for swordfighting. Two dicks fighting. Homosexuality.
I think those two guys do machete con machete.
by fr33ddie May 27, 2010
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machete slapped

1) In old Mexican pueblos ( villages, small towns ) the local folks use the flatside of machetes to beat someone severely ( usually the boy got someone's female relative preggers, stole property, defiant to the local don, etc) but not to be killed only as living message to not disturb the peace.

2) Someone showing signs of having a Latin lover ( usually a Latino male lover).

3) Latino males enaging in giving someone a " physcial reeducation " ( asswhooping ) to not disturb the peace and left as a living reminder to not be a jack hole in the hood.
Girl you glowing when we pass that taco hut stand! What?! You got machete slapped last night ?!

Miguel learned to not steal the " medicine plants " of Old man Paco the hard way. Paco shows Miguel the old school ways of correction by machete slapping his ass since his parents taught him no respect for other people's property.
by Ev1lJRoyce December 30, 2013
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Machete speech

When your girlfriend's dad (or your dad, if you are the girlfriend) takes the boyfriend aside and gives him a good talking to. Usually includes a lot of posturing on the father's part, because he'll be trying to give the boyfriend a scare to convince him to treat the daughter well. In some cases can include sharpening a knife or polishing/cleaning a gun for a threat. Most often includes do's and don't's, but usually just don't's.
Person A: Aw man. When we got back to her place, her old man was waiting to give me the machete speech.
Person B: That's rough, dude.
by NecroBite.EXE August 16, 2015
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