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Gertrude and Jimmy

People who you love and love to hate. They are that guy or girl who you were sort of/kind of romantically entangled with, who you now just kind of hate, but still want to do. If you know Gertrude or Jimmy you probably want to fuck them and you also probably want to fuck them over. Because, basically, that's the type of people they are---fuckers.
Dear Diary,

New Jimmy. Slowly hating him. While simeltaneously liking him very very very much. Ahhh, I'm fucking angry. Fuck Gertrude and Jimmy!
by BerthaGertrudeJimmy March 7, 2008
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Gertrude's Law

Hamlet's mother, Gertrude, is famous for her quote "The lady doth protest too much, methinks". Gertrude's Law states that if a person is overly passionate about condemning a certain lifestyle choice, they most likely engage in that lifestyle secretly. Some notable examples are Jimmy Swaggart, Ted Haggard, and most recently Arifinto, an Indonesian MP who helped pass an anti-pornography law. He was later photographed looking at porn on his iPad during a parliamentary debate.
That family values preacher just got caught at a glory hole. It looks like further proof of Gertrude's Law.
by neyolojisms April 29, 2011
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Gertrude's Law

Based on Shakespeare's "Hamlet", this is an adaptation of "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." It can be used for when anti-homosexual priests get caught having sex with male escorts or, more generally, when somebody fights against a proclivity that they, themselves, engage in.
Ted Haggard got busted with a rent-a-boy! I guess it's another case of Gertrude's Law.
by neolojisms April 29, 2011
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gertrude lollipop

When seducing an older woman, particularly with dentures, have her take out the false teeth before giving you a blowjob, creating an enjoyable slip-n-slide experience for your cock.
Dude Elinore Rosenstein gives the best Gertrude lollipops and she pays me for it too!
by justin shitburg July 4, 2008
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Gertrude Splash

During a blumpkin in an outhouse, the Receiver simultaneously releases a turd and spreads his legs to allow the splash to hit the Giver in the face.
I got the sweetest Gertrude Splash at the carnival the other night.
by TheEmpress August 11, 2012
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gertrude test

Test to apply to movies. Does a scene with two women: last more than 4 minutes? And do they refrain from talking about men in that time?
Did "Lincoln" pass the Gertrude test? Did "Gentlemen Prefer Blonds" pass the Gertrude test? Did "A League of their Own" pass the Gertrude test?
by Gal Friday January 11, 2014
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Gertrude The Third

Typically located in a rural area, far from civilization, this rare specimen in her mid to late 50s is often referred to by scientists as an “Erika”. The exotic Gertude is often followed by the chant “dun dun dun” and a mariachi band. Due to the genetic makeup of this creature, their back can not reach further than a 45° angle. The occasional Gertrude can be enticed by the smell of sharp cheddar cheese and the noise of diet coke streaming into a full yeti cup of vodka.
“Slowly pour the diet coke in your cup we don’t want any Gertrude the thirds’s (dun dun dun) to be alarmed”
by Georgetta Stone June 21, 2022
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