gerarding

To be Lazy or unwilling to work.

That guy is so lazy he's always gerarding it

by willybeamer April 27, 2011

bridge-guarding

1.) Defending, through acts of aggressive trolling, the internet websites and facebook pages where an inordinately large number of conspiracy theorists and other wackos make comments like, "U suck an yor sight is a peace of shit and ur mothas a cunt." Usually the act of bridge-guarding requires the talents of a persistent and eloquent troll who has the ability to spell correctly, thus intimidating his subject victims merely by the fact that said subject victims have an inferiority complex due to their lack of education and their usually abysmal intellectual shortcomings. A troll who engages in bridge-guarding must be merciless but also must recognize when one of his subject victims may be about to commit suicide or harm others -- at which time the ethical bridge-guard will link to a national suicide hotline phone number and a website advocating for the treatment of mental health problems. 2.) the act of preventing a loved one's boyfriend from taking the loved one out for a night of binge drinking for the purpose of committing date rape, usually accomplished by punching the potential assailant as hard as possible in his groin and telling him, "When she comes home, if she's not sober and pleased with your gentlemanly conduct, I'm going to kill you, cut your head off, and drop you off a bridge and into a river." (An almost universally successful technique).

Asshole #1: Dude, I totally got bridge-guarded by her father last night!
Asshole #2: Too bad ... I was totally lookin' forward to fuckin' her brains out while she was unconscious.
Asshole #3: Yeah ... let's go post some comments on the CDC's Facebook page about how we think Obama is bringing Ebola into America.
Asshole #1: Fuck that. That chick's father is bridge-guarding that site ... and he always makes fun of my conspiracy theories and then puts up a link to Merriam-Webster's website and the National Suicide Hotline. That dude is TOTALLY fucking crazy and DANGEROUS! trolling cock-blocking

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 3, 2014

monkey guarding

1. To stand in the way and wave arms frantically, like blocking a shot in basketball or soccer, usually without moving from the target area.

2. To keep others from getting a chance at something.

3. To try to hide something by putting your hands in front of it to keep it from being taken or viewed.

1. Buckwheat was penalized for once again monkey guarding the net.

2. Fat Frieda didn't let any of the other postal workers talk to her boss for fear they'd get her fired or promoted past her. Her co-workers knew she was monkey guarding the boss and got around her, getting her fired anyway.

3. Janette monkey guarded her coffee cup because she knew if Jack could get to it she wouldn't taste coffee the next time she drank it.

by HurtMyDog IKillYourCat November 6, 2010

Guarding 24-7

A Really Ugly Person whose Face Guards his/her Body 24 Hours a Day. Mostly found at Wal-Mart or Bus Stops.
1. Someone that is so Ugly, you have to give the a second look.

"Oh man, that chick is Guarding 24-7"

"That guy is busy Guarding 24-7"

by Don_Mayhem January 22, 2010

Gerarding

To flagrantly get weird behind DJ booths with intent to elicit sexual arousal in surrounding patrons of the female gender.

That dude was gerarding so hard last night, he knocked over everyone's drinks and then left with my girlfriend...
He had some killer moves though

by Fuhbraubs January 23, 2016

Gaylording

When you go out clubbing with your gay friends. Similar to raging, but with much more flair.
Activities include excessive drinking, shamelessly boisterous behavior, fiercely unapologetic attention grabbing, and generally a complete disregard for anyone outside of your group.

Much like traditional raging, it is (1.) guaranteed to be one of the best or worst nights of your life, but never in between, and (2.) only fun for those who are part of the group. Outsiders will typically hate all of you.

Friend: "Hey man, wanna go hit up some bars tonight? I need a wingman, bro."
You: "I would love to, but I'm going gaylording with Michael, Patrick, Christopher, Devin, and Gabriel. You should join! We're gonna get shitfaced at 'Play' and smoke cigarettes out back over some wildly inappropriate conversation."
Friend: "Dude I haven't been to a gay bar in years, sounds fun! I'm in!"
You: "That's what HE said."
Friend: "I see what you did there."

by Ash Wednesday April 26, 2016

Conference Guarding

Talking to someone outside of the pool while lifeguarding.

The lifeguard was conference guarding with someone standing behind him instead of watching the pool.

by HeroGuard July 30, 2009