express love

Express Love is the pain of having a crush on your regular FedEx or UPS driver, and ordering more and more stuff from the Internet just to get a glimpse of him (her).

I'm in Express Love with Alan, my UPS driver. He's dreamy.

by PsychoPuppyDad January 7, 2017

express-hole

A grocery shopper that has WAY more than ten items.

That express-hole has like twenty items in her cart!

by Joe's Girl December 1, 2005

Express christmas

when you can't have Christmas for the rest of the year so you have it beforehand so that you can still have Christmas

You: oh no we're going on holiday on the 20th we won't have Christmas this year

Me: we can have an express Christmas were you have Christmas early

You that's a great idea you get the tree and the ornaments and ill get the presents

by Notsotechy July 25, 2020

express crush

A feeling of attraction towards an individual after meeting them once or twice that usually lasts for approximately 24 - 48 hours and then fades when a new individual enters the picture or the weekend is over. This feeling of attraction is usually sexual in nature and might lead to a make out session or a one night stand. Typically, an express crush is one of convenience hence the name "express crush".

Man, their friend Johnny was so cool last night. He brought everyone a round of drinks and stopped that nasty guy from hitting on me. I can't believe that he is leaving in 2 days to go back home. I sort of want to make out with him before he leaves. I totally have an express crush.

by Josie Nubanks January 7, 2008

Express Route

By getting the girl to have a shower, it makes them already naked, and you don't need to do the task of seducing* the clothes off the girl, which normally consists of one piece of clothing at a time, could take a lot of time and effort, whereas the shower skips all the hard work and you get your sexy time quicker. Commonly abbreveated to ER. Once again all this could also be avoided by slipping viagra into her drink

*seducing can include anything from kisses to massaging to ripping. Depends on the girl, and your relationship with her...

ps. This is only the case if your girlfriend is not super horny and is the one taking your clothes off... in that case *hi5* man!

"Bernie told his girlfriend to have a shower so he could take the express route"

"eh i can't be bothered kissing you, go have a shower.."

"Mat couldn't get this girl to take the ER, so he had to seduce (rip) her clothes off" naughty boy mat...

by The Mathmagician November 4, 2007

express delivery

An intentional and malicious act taking place in a public restroom. The offender enters a restroom to take a shit in a stall next to an occupied stall or stalls containing an unknown victim or victims. The offender defecates quickly and wipes, but refrains from flushing the fresh feces down the toilet. The foul odor from the shit fills the stall and adjacent stalls, and eventually the entire restroom. The offender must quickly exit the restroom without being seen before the victims, who are still in the act of having a bowel movement, have the opportunity to escape the fumes.

There was a dude in my favorite stall on the first floor so I decided to take an express delivery to show that bitch who's boss.

by JWheels7 January 17, 2011

express train to hell

A common, recurrent and ultimate damnation bestowed upon Stinky Brain by the Wonderschlong for repeatedly making comments such as : "Frangelica is monk spooge that is collected by altar boys" and "Why don't you take a dump on that church?" syn. = hell express.

yuuper1: Ever think about fucking a nun?
yuuper2: Dude, you are on the front seat of the express train to hell for thinking that!

by Stinky Brain December 26, 2003