Constipated Network

A computer network that is so congested or overloaded that data transfers at extremely slow speeds.

I can't even open facebook, we must be suffering from a constipated network.

by Just_D_in_aus August 18, 2009

Constipated Bottle

When a bottle of lotion, toothpaste, or other product that comes in a bottle, wont come out and you have to squeeze it with your hands really hard for it to come out. Usually when its down to the last drop. You have to just keep pushing and squeezing but it will come out eventually.

Guy 1: I cant get the ketchup out of this stupid bottle
Guy 2: dude give it to me *takes bottle*
Guy 1: i don't know if you can its constipated
Guy 2: *grunt* your right its a constipated bottle

by ThatsHot95 May 13, 2010

constipated

When it feels like you have a tennis ball sized rock in your anus and you just want to relieve yourself of it, but when you sit on the toilet and strain it doesn't come out because it's rock hard and your anus cannot stretch wide enough for it to come out without tearing. Also the reason why I have a hemroid that I'm severely self conscious about & I refuse to have sex with anyone until it shrinks.

FUCK! I've had to shit for days but I'm constipated. I almost feel like puking the turd out.

by Turd Expert April 20, 2009

fashion constipated

when faced with many outfit/fashion choices, knowing that u have the means and inspiration inside you but lack the potential outlet... and don't have the force for that one extra push... pun intended

i have loads of ideas floating in my head right now
its just that i cant pin one down 'cause i want to wear my new levis and the top i bought from playlife with it. but i want to wear a dress. but i want to wear a skirt. i feel fashion constipated and that's worse than being actually constipated!

by nix23889 January 18, 2008

emotionally constipated

the extreme inability to handle or process any emotions.

This girl I knew was so emotionally constipated, she couldn't even cry.

by ChrisSBU November 8, 2008

constipated rock

Alternative 90's and later rock music wherein the band's lead singer constantly sounds like he's pinching a cement loaf. First made popular by Bruce Springsteen, later adapted by Top 40 crackers like Nickelback and Three Days Grace.

"Hey, did you hear that new Chad Kroeger song?"
"No way, I can't stand that constipated rock. He sounds like he needs a stool softener!"
"Well, it's still better than screamo"

by Prof. Wreck July 20, 2007

CONSTIPATED FROG

THE DEFINITION OF A GIRL SQUATTING ON HER CLASSROOM SEAT MAKING WEIRD PIG NOISES LOOKING VERY MUCH LIKE A FROG THAT IS ON A TOILET AKA ANGRY CONSTIPATED FROG

My friend-* On the floor like a thing trying to poop*
My brain- *c o n s t i p a t e d frog*

Constipated frog.

by Tehehehehhehehehhe May 25, 2021