cognitive impaction

Noun:

Any of a number of conditions characterized by the involuntary suspension of mental processes crucial to self-expression and/or higher reasoning.

Cases of cognitive impaction can frequently be identified by inarticulate attempts at discourse, extended guttural utterances, slack-jaws and bugged out eyes on the part of the afflicted. Treatments are highly specific to each variety of cognitive impaction and range from a slap "upside" the head to a deadline in the most severe cases.

Also see mental constipation.

"Overwhelmed at the prospect of having the bounty of an entire doughnut shop all to himself, Homer immediately suffered a massive cognitive impaction that reduced him to little more than a drooling mass of manflesh."

by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004

cognitive puberty

a time in one's life typically mid twenties or more specifically 24 going on 25 when one does not know who the hell they are or where the hell they are going. This may be exhibited through mood swings, fatigue, backaches, headaches, frequent urination, food cravings, and nausea.

I think I'm going through cognitive puberty, last night after a 10 hour work day, I volunteered at the humane society, mentored a kid, watched the news, went to happy hour, played beer pong, auditioned to be a dancer - got rejected and woke up in my parent's basement.

by Maria Garcia Perez Rodriquez January 25, 2011

Cognitohazard

Anything that can be dangerous to a living being when it’s perceived by any of the five senses.

Jay: Why would staring at the sun be considered a cognitohazard, but knowing about something dangerous isn’t?

Aelanna: A cognitohazard poses a danger when sensed. This can be via any of the classical senses: sight, sound, hearing, taste, or touch.

by Mr.YumYum June 23, 2021

cogniting

The functioning of the brain. Synonyms with thinking.

The Cognition Psychology students are not cogniting today.

by finnals August 19, 2013

Cognitive Darwinism

The conscious decision to choose the less favorable of two choices resulting in greater probability of a bad outcome.

Refusing to vaccinate to protect yourself is cognitive Darwinism at its finest.

by Pablo Tornado September 27, 2021

Post-Baked Cognitive State

A term originating between Canadian health science students who are also stoners. It's the state roughly 3 hours following the last toke. The initial high is gone, but the thc level is still high enough for some after-effects. Doesn't last more than a few hours. Symptoms are tiredness, extreme tranquility and relaxation, a need to eat healthy.

Guy1 - "Dude you look tired, late night?"
Guy 2 - "Nah I'm just in a post-baked cognitive state"
Guy1 - "I know it well, wanna go get some herbal tea?"
Guy 2 - "Hells yea"

by hawksley1001 November 28, 2009

cognitus interruptus

A disruption of the normal thought process, normally by an external distraction. This occurs most often at times where mental focus is a necessity. Cognitus interruptus sometimes leads to procrastination, leading to further cognitus interruptus and creating a cycle. Not to be confused with coitus interruptus, which is something entirely different.

Constant cognitus interruptus in my classes kept me from passing finals.

by Fish Fooood February 19, 2010