The Beets'

That Brittish band from the Doug Funny Show(cleverly titled Doug where they sing stupid songs that get stuck in your head.

The Beets' were the most popular band on the show and were adored by Doug, Skeeter, and Patty.

The Beets' song #1:
"I need more allowance!"
"Yodelllayheeeehoooooooo."
"Why?!"
"Because I do!"

Little girls Doug and Skeeter: "Ahhhhhh!!!!!! The Beets'!!!!"

The Beets' song #2:
"A-eeeeee-ooooooooo Killer Tofu!"
"Oooooooo-eeeeeeeee-ooooooooo Killer Tofu!"

Little girl Patti wets her pants.

by Shaunn L. May 6, 2009

Beatin Beets

To use both hands to smack one's scrotum and balls back and forth repeatedly until the sack is deeply reddened and sore to the touch. Performed for sexual pleasure and by those into rough genital play. May be self-performed or performed by a mate.

Roger loved Beatin Beets. His lovers sack was a deep shade of purple by the end of their session.

by Eaton Holgoode April 21, 2015

blew beets

Throwing up, vomit

Star just blew beets on the couch

by Blue beets September 22, 2017

Hammering the Beets

Male masturbation. Typically, the more vigorous and rough variety. Not just a causal wank.

I walked in on my roommate sitting on the toilet hammering the beets. I wondered what the smacking was.

My uncle paid me $50 to let him watch me hammering the beets.

I’m so sore from hammering the beets. My balls are swollen. I was on pornhub all day.

by Dick Onchin September 23, 2020

plow the beets

When a man hits a woman's breasts so hard that they become red, and then places his penis between the breasts and tit-fucks her.

Cindy: "So Bill, what did you get me for my birthday?"
Bill: "Nothing, but I can plow the beets."
Cindy: "Oh Bill, I've always wanted to have my beets plowed!"

by Barney F October 24, 2009

Man Beets

The testicles. The balls. The gonads.

My man beets are all sweaty. Wanna lick?

I like pulling on my man beets.

I shave my man beets.

by Eaton Holgoode March 8, 2018

Three Beets to the Wind Burger

A burger served with beets

"Hey Bob, what's the burger of the day?" "It's the Three Beets to the Wind Burger, you should try it!"

by America Lover 🇺🇸 November 20, 2018