bear

A fuzzy and cute woodland creature. Very huggable, but if hugging is attempted it is likely that the bear will maul and/or kill the hugger.
Little Stevie hugged a bear last week. His funeral is tomorrow.
by Don Bobbly January 29, 2008
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bear

Stephen Colbert: And the number one threat to America is... bears.
by aaronak April 12, 2006
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bear

Robotic government agent created to keep people away from specific hidden government facilities.
Shhhhh... I see a bear over there. The government must have something to hide in this area.
by beniolenio July 19, 2019
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Bears

The term "Bears" has been a long standing slang term to refer to any member in law enforcement. The term was originally made popular in America by CB operators.
"Tom, this is Joe, I got a twenty on a couple Bears up here on mile marker 29. Over."
by big jimz May 05, 2009
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Bears

They are godless killing machines.
Stephen Colbert: Bears don't pray because they are godless killing machines.
by Camnation March 03, 2007
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Bear

Bear. Big roary thingy that hibernates.
I wanted to go on a bike ride today, only my ankle was kinda stiff and sore and there's a bear in my neighborhood.
by iabast May 26, 2020
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Bears

A terrifying beast that will literally rip your face of just so that he can show his bear buddies how stupid you look. A bear will fuck your mother while fingering your little sister and then eat your pancreas while drilling a hole in the top of your head and then pissing up your nose an out that hole.

A bear can swallow an orange and shit out a new world religion.

When you see waves at the beach, its because the ocean is trying to escape from bears who feel like swimming.

A retarded boy from Wisconsin once hugged a bear on a camping trip long ago. That boy turned out to be Jesus.

The Space Shuttle was originally created to escape from Bears and find a new bear-free planet. The Appollo and Columbia shuttles had the misfortune of not bear-proofing the doors.

The Extinction of the Dinosaurs was actually caused by one Bear and 7 Beers.

Friday the 13th is based on the true story of a Bear who got bored on day.

A Grizzly from Northern Canada has more friends on Myspace than Tom.

God decided one day to fight a Bear in one of his forests. The outcome resulted in the forest becoming the Sahara Desert and God becoming Anna Nicole Smith.

Bears

"Hey, I heard Chuck Norris died yesterday." "Yeah, he made a Bear joke in public."

"How did Jeff die?" "A Bear" "A Bear ate him?" "No, it hit him while going 60 in a 03 Toyota."
by Feardom October 05, 2006
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