Barista Special

The Barista Special is when a male Barista will pass the time during his tiring, difficult day job by occasionally stroking himself during the afternoon slow hours, accumulating his semen in a milk jug of his choosing. He will wait until an innocent, unaware customer places an order before pulling their shot and reaching over to his seedy milk jug, placing it under the steam wand and starting to steam the mixture of his potential children and leftover milk until it reaches a consistency he deems appropriate. He will then finish the coffee, using his milky swimmer potion to create some late art upon his creation, preferably in the shape of a beautiful swan. Once the cum coffee is finished, he will deliver it to the customer, standing behind the counter and watching as they start to drink his sick concoction, stroking himself to the sight. The customer is disgusted with the taste, and will throw the coffee away, in most cases leaving a complaint. This is the best part for the Barista. He gets off on the degradation. This will force the Barista to ejaculation, and he will retrieve his milk jug, and begin the process again.

Barista: “Dude, today is kinda slow! Might get time this afternoon for a Barista Special.”

Coworker: “I’m serious, Darren. Get some fucking help before I, honest to god, submit you to an institution myself.”

by Tillyyyy14 July 5, 2022

Baristapotomus

When you go to a coffee shop expecting to see a cute barista ready to make you some coffee, but instead you find a dried up sea hag pushing three on the hoof where the single origin must have been imported somewhere around her.

Ghon went to his local coffee shop expecting there to be a cute blonde spinner to make his morning coffee, but when he got there he was pleased to see the baristapotomus bloated ready for his order. Ghon though about asking for a walrus belch to go along with his Latte.

by SkulletBuster October 19, 2017

Barista Jam

an opportunity for baristas to come together and pull shots, learn more, and essentially nerd out for one or more days. Those that drive ridiculous distances to attend these as possible are considered to be 'jam whores'

"Dude, are you going to the barista jam next weekend? I heard there's gonna be a latte art throw down!"
"No...it's like 7 hours away! I'm not a jam whore like you."

by squidgeroo March 27, 2009

Baristatute

A barista who knows how to cup both your balls and your mocha. Generally are found at Starbucks or Seattle's Best, but the best and hottest are found in Italy. Baristatutes also can handle warm liquids in or around their face.

That baristatute really frothed my milk.

by Pety April 23, 2008

Barista

A poorly paid individual who politely endures the torture of rude posh customers every day they are at work. They are usually extremely interesting and intelligent people, yet are submitted to constant patronisation and unnecessary abuse by the individuals they serve.

Identifying a Barista:

They often show fabulous abilities in memory...
Customer: "can I have a large extra hot soya 2 shot latte, 3 small cappuccinos, a medium wet chai latte, and a tea with 2 tea bags...to take away?"
Barista: "No problem"

They are identifiable by their muscular arms built by carrying enormous trays of dishes and coffee beans across their store...
"Look at those arms on her!"
"Yeah, definitely a Barista"

When a Barista approaches, you will smell them before you see them, and can hence never be tired in their presence..
"Do you mind going on the sofa tonight? You smell of coffee so much that I can't sleep!"

They are faster than ninjas with their hands on that coffee machine...
Barista: "Your coffee is ready madam"
Customer: "Woah already? I hadn't even reached for my purse yet!"

They are polite, despite being continually tested by rude people...
Silly individual: "I want a filter coffee with no milk please"
Barista: "Sure, here you go - enjoy!"
Silly individual: "I WANTED MILK WITH IT, WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?"
Barista: "Oh, I'm so sorry sir, here's your milk"

A Barista is always hard working, yet underestimated and under appreciated by many.

That girl is amazing, do you know much about her?
She's a Barista.

by Truthfulgirl July 8, 2014

barista

Snobby fuck who makes coffee.

That damn barista started yelling at me for ordering my coffee 'to-go'.

by D-Ren July 28, 2008

soda barista

A female (the male term would be baristo) who holds up the line at a fast food soda fountain because she fills her drink then leaves it in the way so she can get a lid, sugar, straw, etc. instead of moving the drink out of the way.
She doesn't care that she's in the way and holding up the line. In fact, she may feel so important that she is entitled to do this!
It's the same kind of conceit that one finds in people talking on cell phones while driving too slowly and not paying attention to others.

All I want is a coke! I wish that soda barista would hurry up and get out of the way.

by Golden-Rod February 19, 2008