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Wetzel

An unanticipated split in a male's stream of urine occurring as a result of excess semen in the urethra produced in a previous instance of masturbation or sex
Ex. 1) I was caught unawares by the magnitude of my Wetzel, leading to a disastrous leakage of urine onto my bathroom floor.

Ex. 2) I missed the toilet by several feet after experiencing a Wetzel of epic proportions.
by Jwetz August 6, 2014
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Witzelsucht

Someone with the crippling addiction of saying puns all day.
<Man1> Looks like Jerry has a case of Witzelsucht...

<Man2> Fucking legend.
by thdude21619 August 3, 2016
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Related Words
Wietze Wietz wetzel Witz Weitzel wietse wiett witzy weetzie bat weitzer

Pulling a Wetzel

Leaving 10 minutes early for lunch to beat the crowd
We’re pulling a Wetzel at lunch today
by Pulling a Wetzel October 30, 2018
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weitzel

A beautiful and majestic female sex god. Like a fine wine, The Weitzel only gets better (and by better I mean hornier/sexier) with age. Though the Weitzel has slept with nearly every creature with a ding-a-ling on the planet, it is near impossible to reproduce and spawn another gorgeous W.I.L.F. It is said in legend that only one man, one big balled man, who has unthinkably godly sized balls, huge balls, Adimantium infused wreckingball size balls, dangling hairy balls, balls that probably make your balls look like chicken shit pussies, balls so ginormous they have the power to move objects, is capable of recreating the WILF. Though sir #### valiantly tried to reproduce with the “W.I.L.F,” the offspring resulted in an awkward disaster. Thus, we can only hope that the stunningly large testicled man of legend will one day meet his destiny and smash the W.I.L.F, and keep these near extinct species alive and poofing and cob-webbing (excreting a powder-like substance from one of several orifices which in it younger stages are thought to have once contained liquid, which dried and condensed into a light powdery substance, much like baby powder.)
Guy 1: WOOO I just had the kinkiest sex with the weitzel
Guy 2: so did I.
Every Guy on earth: So did we.
Every species of mammel: So did we.
Every organism on earth: So did we.
Every extra-terrestrial life form: So did we.
Every unborn fetus: So did we
Chuck norris: So did I
O.G. Mudbone: So did I, but my d was too small, that thangs stretched like a bih.
by massive ball horse dick mc.gee October 16, 2011
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weitzel

A.K.A. the W.I.L.F ( weitzel id like to f*ck.) An old re-dinky-donky-ulously saggy tittied female. One whose breasts resemble two pale garbage bags filled with pudding or some other form of goo which droop bellow its waist line (especially when it wears its natural attire, of no bra.) The vaginal cavity of the wilf is encrusted with powder and spider webs, the wilf is a slut and a man’s “best nightmare ;).” The wilf prefers facials, anal, facials, sex, facials, penis, facials, and facials. Don’t approach one unless you wish to be fucked on site in a cave for many days, the cave being its anus.
yum weitzel queef poof on my babies bottom.
by poofy nigga October 17, 2011
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Witza

A word a shitty rapper came up with to rhyme with the word pizza.
Dont eat too much pizza you’re gonna get a witza
by Goat23airjordan August 15, 2018
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Matt Wieters

When your dick is so long you need to use a condom for protection. Not from STD's but from carpet burns and other sharp objects that may be lying on the floor.
I have having a Matt Wieters because I couldn't walk through the Holland Tunnel because of how long my dick is.
by Dunlap12345 June 11, 2009
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