The hardest most self-depreciating track and field event there is. Whoever says pole vault isn’t the toughest event deserves a throat punch. You immediately get depressed once you hit the mat. No matter what you will end in failure because you stop once you hit the bar 3 times. Stand clear of this event.
Non polevaulter: omg pole vault does absolutely nothing all they do is lie on the mat and play music

Polevaulter: stfu bitch you don’t know what it’s like to do this event it’s worse than yours stop complaining
by TheAllKnowingBeings July 16, 2018
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Getting an erection in your sleep, then rolling over onto it, like a pole vaulter in the Olympics.
I pole vaulted past night, now my dick hurts.
by DickRollin March 5, 2020
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Polevaulting or "Pole"vaulting is a term to describe the act of when a man ejaculates in his own mouth by way of muscular force through the penis. In turn vaulting the seman through the air towards ones own self.
Today while home alone I decided to practice "Pole"vaulting.
by Doc_Frankenfurter March 25, 2004
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When you’re having sex and the man slips and nails you in the taint.
Dave and I were totally doing it when he slipped and ended up pole vaulting me, I’m just glad hit the taint and not the dit box!
by Katrykat April 1, 2020
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The German Pole vault is like one of those gross/outrageous sexual things that you always joke around with your friends like the Alaskan Pipeline but would never actually attempt. The German Pole vault however is not gross, but would generally end in injury (and embarassment).

The German Pole Vault is when your female sex partner is lying on the bed, and the male starts standing on the bed, and then jumps down, aiming his penis into her vagina. This requires practice, accuracy and some luck or else you will end up with a bent penis.
Bro: Dude, she is so hot, I might try the German Pole Vault on her.
Dude: Thats hilarious, but if you miss, you wont have sex ever again.
by schubes66 October 12, 2011
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verb. When a man takes a long and hard shit that pivots in the bottom of the toilet bowl then falls and hits the man's balls on the way down.
My balls smell like shit because I went underwater pole vaulting this afternoon at five past the hour.
by Scooter Harrington April 11, 2013
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Inserting a tube anally to relieve flatulence
I haven’t farted for a week so I scheduled a Dutch pole vault.
by Jerdie September 24, 2020
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