Stonewall Johnson

The white knight incarnate; a person whose irrepressible compulsion to cockblock is the only salvation of womankind. If he isn't there to prevent it, women are powerless to defend themselves against the predatory motivations of all other members of his gender. Called so because of his astounding ability to block any cock currently known to man.

Bro: Dude, Alex is such a cockblock.
Brah: Yeah, he's a regular Stonewall Johnson.
Bro: Weird, I coulda sworn he got RB's all up in that shit.
Brah: Word.

by Burley May 1, 2009

stonewall jacksoned

When you and a partner begin to engage in a sexual act, but when you want to go further, your partner rejects you. It is called "stonewall jacksoned" because your partner often has impenetrable defences.

Guy 1: Man I started messing areound with Nicole the other day but as soon as it started getting hot she Stonewall Jacksoned me!

Guy 2: How can something so evil possible exist...

by ginnihinh April 7, 2010

stonewall scam

Construction term for a dirty contractor who takes a huge cash deposit and then works as slow as legally allowed until you fire them. Then, they keep your money for breach of contract. In my state, they only have to do work every 90 days.

Could have had my addition done last year, but I'm locked into a stonewall scam.

by BR Don May 1, 2021

Stonewall Seatbelt

Rudimentary device for securing a lose penis. To create this device, a string is tied around preferably the foreskin or head of the penis if foreskin is not present. The other end of the string is attached to an anal toy of some sort. When the anal toy is inserted in the user's anus, the string will pull the dong between the legs and across the gooch, securing the penis in place.

Damn Mike's dick is so big I heard he had to use a Stonewall Seatbelt just so he is able to wear shorts.

by bigolepenis April 7, 2018

stonewall penalty

A complete, absolute and certain penalty kick in football.

A defender shooting a forward in the penalty area with a BAZOOKA is a stonewall penalty.

by Jeffrey Douglas November 25, 2006

Stonewall Jackson

When a girl sexually teases you but doesn't end up following through.

John: I fingerbanged her, but when I went to give her the old 1-2, she was being a Stonewall Jackson.

Mike: Oh.

by stumperfluff July 7, 2010

slida stonewall

another female version of the "cock block"

Jillian was at the football game when Lisa came up and slida stonewalled her while she was mackin on some guy.

by asuchix October 6, 2007