Masturbation, or touching of one's self, jacking off, playing the yum yum trumpet etc. Before getting engaged or married.
Gee, you hear about the pope's Premarital Masturbation?
Ya! I think he should go to hell or at least get laid.
Ya! I think he should go to hell or at least get laid.
by Taeko Hentie April 25, 2006
Get the Premarital Masturbationmug. The process of inserting a penis into a vagina by mode of muscle contractions of the hip and pelvis between two unwed partners. Premarital insertion is usually but not necessarily accompanied by thrusting, premarital sex, and even rape.
To say that premarital insertion is sex would be to say that zombies and vampires are the same entity. Despite their "undead" quality, an intense desire for human flesh, and a heightened propensity for halitosis, these things do not necessitate that zombies are vampires are the same thing.
Likewise, premarital insertion can be just as unpleasurable and unfulfilling as the Star Wars prequels, unlike sex.
Premarital insertion is the slide into "fourth base" (a.k.a. a home run or fucking) without actually scoring.
A good premarital insertion analgous to that of Hitler's Blitzkrieg and the insertion of foreign troops can often induce a powerful union between two opposing powers such as that of the Soviets and the Americans or even a union of a man and a woman.
So... get married and have sex already!
To say that premarital insertion is sex would be to say that zombies and vampires are the same entity. Despite their "undead" quality, an intense desire for human flesh, and a heightened propensity for halitosis, these things do not necessitate that zombies are vampires are the same thing.
Likewise, premarital insertion can be just as unpleasurable and unfulfilling as the Star Wars prequels, unlike sex.
Premarital insertion is the slide into "fourth base" (a.k.a. a home run or fucking) without actually scoring.
A good premarital insertion analgous to that of Hitler's Blitzkrieg and the insertion of foreign troops can often induce a powerful union between two opposing powers such as that of the Soviets and the Americans or even a union of a man and a woman.
So... get married and have sex already!
Jonny: Premarital insertion could be rape, but it's not a sin.
Suzy: Really?
Jonny: Yeah.
Suzy: I'm still pressing chrages, you rapist!
Suzy: Really?
Jonny: Yeah.
Suzy: I'm still pressing chrages, you rapist!
by fanatic963 April 17, 2006
Get the premarital insertionmug. The act of Sexting (Sexual Text Messaging) between two parties before engaging in the legal and/or religious confines and institution of covenantal marriage. See Sexting.
Billy: "Hey Babe"
Sally-Jo: "Hey Monkey"
Billy: "What are you wearing?"
Sally-Jo: <Naked Picture>
Billy: "AWESOME!!!"
Premarital Sexting.
Sally-Jo: "Hey Monkey"
Billy: "What are you wearing?"
Sally-Jo: <Naked Picture>
Billy: "AWESOME!!!"
Premarital Sexting.
by RockyRac December 1, 2011
Get the Premarital Sextingmug. by Alvin THE SHIZZ May 19, 2008
Get the Premarital Touchingmug. A sin worse than the holocaust
I rather die than have premarital eye contact
If you ain’t been married, you shouldn’t be able to look at each other
I rather die than have premarital eye contact
If you ain’t been married, you shouldn’t be able to look at each other
by ScottPilgrim.06 March 11, 2020
Get the Premarital eye contactmug. Just like Rusev Day, No Premarital Sex Day is celebrated 365 days a year. Premarital Sex is softer than Charmin Ultra Soft.
by Robert Griffin IV April 11, 2021
Get the No Premarital Sex Daymug. Chad could not have sex with his girlfriend before marriage because she is a religious Mormon, so he decided to shit in her vagina. She did not like premarital vaginal defecation.
by poopmuncher42069666 April 15, 2018
Get the Premarital Vaginal Defecationmug.