Skip to main content

British Petroleum

BP for short. They are the English company responsible for the 2010 Gulf of Mexico disaster resulting in the worst oil spill in history.
British Petroleum will never be able to tell us how many millions of gallons (or barrels) of crude oil have spilled and poisoned the Gulf waters which will ultimately have negative long-term affects for many years and generations to come.
British Petroleum by MTF June 16, 2010
British Petroleum mug front
Get the British Petroleum mug.
See more merch

British Petroleum

Former name of BP, p.l.c. The name "British Petroleum" remains in use because "BP" is useless for internet searches. Third largest oil company in the world, by sales (behind Exxon Mobile and Royal Dutch Shell; in 2009, these were $246.1 billion.

BP is the largest oil and gas producer in the US.

Lessor of Deepwater Horizon offshore drilling platform in the Gulf of Mexico. On 20 April 2010, a fire and explosion on the Deepwater Horizon killed eleven crew members and was followed by a blowout, during which perhaps four million barrels of crude oil were poured into the ecologically sensitive area.

Company was founded in 1909 by William Knox D'Arcy as the Anglo-Persian Oil Company (APOC), and used its ties with the hapless Qejar Dynasty ruling Iran.

In 1925, Reza Khan (formerly an employee of APOC) had himself proclaimed Shah; his ascendancy from commoner to emperor was stimulated by Iran popular anger at the way APOC was pumping billions of pounds from Iran's land to the Exchequer of the UK, while a ridiculously small amount went to Iran itself. Shah Reza promised to revise the agreement with APOC, but after 7 years of negotiating with the company, got nothing more than a name change (to Anglo-Iranian).

In 1951, Prime Minister Muhammad Mussadegh nationalize the company's assets in Iran. On behalf of AIOC, MI-5 and the CIA staged a coup d'etat that ousted the democratically elected Prime Minister in favor of absolute dictatorship by the Shah (1953).
Until 1997, British Petroleum was part of an industry-wide consortium that funded climate change "skepticism."

Although it is financially and legally unrelated to the British government, BP has historically been treated by the British FCO as if it were an arm of the state.

petroleum engineering

A highly overpaid major typically chosen by douchebags who have already decided how they will spend their massive paycheck. Most of which drop out once they realize the complexity of the major. Those who complete four years of a mix between mechanical engineering, physics and geology rightfully earn the $110k starting salary.
Hey look at chad over there!

What? You mean his pink lacoste polo and snapback?

Did you hear he's majoring in petroleum engineering?

Look at him trying to pick up that chick with his acceptance letter to Colorado School of Mines.

Hah I give him 9 weeks before he drops

Petroleum Heartbreak 

After months and sometimes years of analysis, Engineers and tons of money is used to drill holes down the ground to find Oil. They do perforations to the location at the end of their drilling in the ground to get the oil flowing in the pipes from ground to the surface.

After this exercise, which took so long and a lot of money and a lot of heavy equipments and machines:

1) If Petroleum Engineers find only Gas coming from the ground, then Petroleum Engineers achieve 30% Hearbreak.
1) If Petroleum Engineers find only Water coming from the ground, then Petroleum Engineers achieve 50% Hearbreak.
1) If Petroleum Engineers find nothing coming from the ground, then Petroleum Engineers achieve 100% Hearbreak.
We been drilling all night and nothing is coming out of this feat, I think we are lead towards a petroleum heartbreak.
I came here to drill, but i dont care if it leads to a petroleum heartbreak
Petroleum Heartbreak by pyrocute August 27, 2013

Petrophile 

Petrophile is someone with a huge forehead. Lives in a van. A.k.a. a little man whore with a little thingy.
Oh look! It's Petrophile!!

Hide yo kids! The Petrophile is here!
Petrophile by Anti-Petrophile September 12, 2013

petronilo 

My names Petronilo and I like cookies so we’re cookie lovers.
Petronilo loves cookies, it’s in It’s name
petronilo by DoctoralFlemington February 6, 2021

petronilo 

The sickest mother fucker out there that has the best fucking vibes and is the best man to smoke with if u ever meet this man u best fucking vibe with his ass
Damn this mans amazing petronilo