When people ask you your "sign"- that's astrology. Horoscopes, signs, all that shit is astrology. People think it actually works because the predictions (horoscopes) are extremely vague and telling people what they want to hear, such as "you will make money" and "you will find true love". All these astrologers are making money off morons, and probably snorting coke off a hooker right now. Not to be confused with astronomy, the badass science of the universe.
1- "Okay, here's your horoscope. You will get a raise at the end of the year. Wow! Look! Astrology signs on my cellphone for 20$ a month, sign me up!"
2- "Here's your horoscope- fuck you."
2- "Here's your horoscope- fuck you."
by 73H L337 H4X0R!!1 October 15, 2010
Get the astrology mug.A person (can be of nondescript gender) who takes astrology, tarot, and other modern-day forms of eclectic mysticism extremely seriously, often rejecting some forms of science. They believe the ideologies in which they partake to be fact.
Girl 1: Are you gonna ask her to join our group science project?
Girl 2: No way, she's an astrology girl.
Girl 2: No way, she's an astrology girl.
by harkerpants April 22, 2022
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A heteronormative belief system that categorizes men into a hierarchy that determines their societal status. The higher you are on the pyramid, the more masculine, confident, and "better with girls" you become. Men at the bottom of the pyramid are viewed as submissive to men at the top.
Male Astrology came about due to a faulty study on the behavior of wolves made in 1947, later proven to be based on a misunderstanding. It became popularized over time, and nowadays is commonplace within red-pilled internet circles and said to be "backed by science."
If you hear any person using the terms "alpha" "beta" "sigma" or "omega" to describe themselves or another person in a non-satirical way, keep your distance because they believe in Male Astrology.
Male Astrology came about due to a faulty study on the behavior of wolves made in 1947, later proven to be based on a misunderstanding. It became popularized over time, and nowadays is commonplace within red-pilled internet circles and said to be "backed by science."
If you hear any person using the terms "alpha" "beta" "sigma" or "omega" to describe themselves or another person in a non-satirical way, keep your distance because they believe in Male Astrology.
Brian: "Bro, I might not be an alpha but I swear I'm like a sigma male bro."
Bryan: "What kinda Male Astrology bullshit have you been watching?"
Bryan: "What kinda Male Astrology bullshit have you been watching?"
by bigbrianedindividual August 17, 2021
Get the Male Astrology mug.A barbaric,, pseudo-scientific, personality model used to explain away a person's neuroticism by measuring the trajectory of big rocks in the sky.
Person 1: I like dogs because I'm a Libra!
Person 2: Astrology is fake.
Person 1: Astrology is not fake.
Person 2: You're an idiot.
Person 2: Astrology is fake.
Person 1: Astrology is not fake.
Person 2: You're an idiot.
by cyberphonic January 15, 2011
Get the astrology mug.Oscrology: The study of the only religion recognized by the Church of Oscar, although Raptor Jesus is recognized as a viable and powerful deity. Focusing on the degradations of all things resident of Joelbania (even though Joelbania is not important enough to capitalize, we shall do so mockingly and for the right use of grammar), Oscrology is the belief system that requires its practicing practitioners to detest all things not worthy of the Great and Powerful Space Pope. As of the date of this inscribing, the Hierarchy of Oscrology features:
The Omnipotent Space Pope Oscar, successor to Raptor Jesus (whom you cannot directly address or else feel the wrath and destructive power that is Oscar);
The Chuck played by none other than the god Himself Sir Chuck Norris;
The Cardinal formerly known as Tim;
The Ecclesiastical Archbishop Christina;
The Patriarch Stephanie;
The Space Metal Guru from Space C.M. (who revolves around the Universe that is Oscar, imparting their randomly awesome wisdom);
The Cadet Lauren;
The Brother Mouse and
The Scribe Jolly Roger Rabbit
We join together to stop all things unholy and to convert all things deemed appropriate, funny, useless, frivolous and worthy of nothing less than true Oscrologist standards.
Current practicing Countries who identify this religion as the only true belief system are Democratic Republic of Tim, Lycastia, Kitaly, and the small Island Nation of Wimsee.
The main force of defense is The Chuck Norris with a defense that not even Jack Bauer can penetrate. Although for small petty crimes deemed misdemeanors, the punishments will be handed down by LOL Cat (LOL Cat is a former slave of Joelbania created by the head mistress of the joel himself: Queen of the Hos). LOL Cat escaped in search of a better life and a REAL religion and was rescued by The Patriarch Herself Madam Stephanie.
It should be noted that the joel has a striking resemblance to the Geico Caveman. We believe that either they are brothers or the joel disguises himself ever so slightly as to fool the less intelligent and faithful.
Space Pope would also like us to note, although he won't tell you because you are not yet deemed worthy (and of course cannot address him directly as you could not fathom the superiority of his majesty and intellect) that he likes puppies, although not the inappropriate amount, just the standard, not sick, completely appropriate amount.
This Message was brought to you by the Church of Oscar and was approved by The Great Space Pope Himself. One Per Person Per Household. Upon reading this you voluntarily agreed to detest joelbanians, no credit check required. Never approach The Space Pope Oscar Himself as you will implode. This offer not valid with any other Certificates. Chuck Norris has not yet verified this message (as he has no need to explain Himself). Please see owner manual for further details. Not Yet Rated by the FDA. You may not amuse Cobra Spoon EVER!!! Taxes and Fees may be extra. Donations always eagerly demanded and accepted upon approval of The Great and Mighty Space Pope.
The Omnipotent Space Pope Oscar, successor to Raptor Jesus (whom you cannot directly address or else feel the wrath and destructive power that is Oscar);
The Chuck played by none other than the god Himself Sir Chuck Norris;
The Cardinal formerly known as Tim;
The Ecclesiastical Archbishop Christina;
The Patriarch Stephanie;
The Space Metal Guru from Space C.M. (who revolves around the Universe that is Oscar, imparting their randomly awesome wisdom);
The Cadet Lauren;
The Brother Mouse and
The Scribe Jolly Roger Rabbit
We join together to stop all things unholy and to convert all things deemed appropriate, funny, useless, frivolous and worthy of nothing less than true Oscrologist standards.
Current practicing Countries who identify this religion as the only true belief system are Democratic Republic of Tim, Lycastia, Kitaly, and the small Island Nation of Wimsee.
The main force of defense is The Chuck Norris with a defense that not even Jack Bauer can penetrate. Although for small petty crimes deemed misdemeanors, the punishments will be handed down by LOL Cat (LOL Cat is a former slave of Joelbania created by the head mistress of the joel himself: Queen of the Hos). LOL Cat escaped in search of a better life and a REAL religion and was rescued by The Patriarch Herself Madam Stephanie.
It should be noted that the joel has a striking resemblance to the Geico Caveman. We believe that either they are brothers or the joel disguises himself ever so slightly as to fool the less intelligent and faithful.
Space Pope would also like us to note, although he won't tell you because you are not yet deemed worthy (and of course cannot address him directly as you could not fathom the superiority of his majesty and intellect) that he likes puppies, although not the inappropriate amount, just the standard, not sick, completely appropriate amount.
This Message was brought to you by the Church of Oscar and was approved by The Great Space Pope Himself. One Per Person Per Household. Upon reading this you voluntarily agreed to detest joelbanians, no credit check required. Never approach The Space Pope Oscar Himself as you will implode. This offer not valid with any other Certificates. Chuck Norris has not yet verified this message (as he has no need to explain Himself). Please see owner manual for further details. Not Yet Rated by the FDA. You may not amuse Cobra Spoon EVER!!! Taxes and Fees may be extra. Donations always eagerly demanded and accepted upon approval of The Great and Mighty Space Pope.
"Joelbainians are a sneaky bunch, but they understand not the subtleties of Oscrology"
From the Book of Timothy J. B. III
Chapter 3 Verse 4567:
"..And the Oscar descended from Space and said upon the non believers, "OLOL... noobs"
"As the great RJ said, that baby IS in fact for sale."
Quoteth The Patriarch Stephanie: "Aren’t you glad you get paid to do this"
From the Book of Timothy J. B. III
Chapter 3 Verse 4567:
"..And the Oscar descended from Space and said upon the non believers, "OLOL... noobs"
"As the great RJ said, that baby IS in fact for sale."
Quoteth The Patriarch Stephanie: "Aren’t you glad you get paid to do this"
by Scribe J.R.R.R. August 2, 2008
Get the Oscrology mug.Astro (star) nomy (a specified area of knowledge) therefore astronomy is a branch of science studying space and celestial objects. And there is also Astro (star) ology (denotes a subject of study or interest) so what’s the difference between astrology and astronomy?
Quite simple really. Astrology is full of shit. It claims the position of the stars influence on your mood like ok Tiffany it doesn’t excuse you for being a bitch
Quite simple really. Astrology is full of shit. It claims the position of the stars influence on your mood like ok Tiffany it doesn’t excuse you for being a bitch
by Gay sex god💯💯😤😤 June 6, 2021
Get the Astrology mug.An idea that is irrational and not based on evidence commensurate with the extraordinary nature of the claim.
The belief that the cosmos operates in conjunction with the benalities of our love lives, interactions and career oppurtunites, etc.
The belief that the cosmos operates in conjunction with the benalities of our love lives, interactions and career oppurtunites, etc.
Astrology is bogus...
by jazz4 November 14, 2011
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