Me: Thank
God I don't actually live here in Northern Ireland! It's shit.
Northerner: No it isn't!
Me: Actually, it is. Belfast looks like a
fucking concentration camp or something. What's with all the barbed wire and fences! And the
retarded chavs who attack policemen, firefighters, and anyone wearing the wrong soccer
jersey, the paramilitaries, Orangemen, need I go on?!
Northerner: You're right, feck this, I'm moving to the West Country. Or Wales. Or the South. Even Glasgow isn't as shite as this armpit.
Me: Now you're thinking straight. I'll book a ticket on Ryanair and get us the feck out of here. Let's never speak of it again.